Page 74 of Collateral Damage
I hiccup. “Really?”
“Yes, really. And for the record, I’m not angry at you anymore, either.”
I’m a complete mess, and he’s comforting me when I don’t deserve him. “I’m sorry, Cooper. I’m sorry for everything. For hurting you when I left. For your leg. For all of it.”
“I know,” he whispers. “That’s in the past now.”
This is the part where I want to ask for forgiveness, but I can’t. Even though I can offer my apology, I don’t deserve his forgiveness. I was a heinous bitch; I threw him away, becauseI didn’t know how to handle myself. I didn’t know what to do. I was immature and hurt.I am still hurting, but maybe I am mature now.
“I don’t blame you, Sybil.” He peers directly into my eyes. “And I’ve been thinking about it a lot, thinking about what you said, and I’m ready for us to be friends again. Actually, I think we alreadyarefriends again, but I’m ready to embrace it fully. I want you back.”
My heart swells and the weight of years carrying around shame at the loss of him lifts away.
I smile, hug him tight, then step away and mop up my tears with my sleeves. “Thank you. You have no idea how much I needed that.”
He shrugs. “No need to thank me. Let’s move past it, okay? I think we should start with finding you a bathroom, so you can wash off your raccoon eyes.”
Oh, shit.“I knew I shouldn’t have worn mascara today,” I grumble. “How bad is it?”
He gives me a mocking-horrified face. “Bad, Valentine. You’ve been walking around with black rings around your eyes ever since we left that depressing-as-fuck movie.”
I laugh, and it feels amazing. “Thanks for telling me earlier.” I elbow him, and he laughs too, and that feels even better.
“I don’t have a problem with your cute raccoon eyes. I think you’re beautiful no matter what, but I also know you well enough to know you’ll want to clean yourself up.”
Has Cooper ever called me beautiful before? Maybe when we were young, but I don’t think so, at least not that I remember. I tuck the compliment away to analyze later.
We head to the bathroom, and yes, I do look a mess, but Ifeelso much better. I wash my face, staring into the mirror for a minute and noticing the way my eyes are brighter and greener from the tears. I look a little younger without any makeup onand frizzy hair, but I feel more me than I’ve felt in forever. Years, maybe.
This was a horrible day that has become a good one. I only have Cooper to thank for that.
Funny how life works sometimes.
I return to Cooper, and we finish walking the zoo, making small talk aboutTop of the Worldand Arden and Ethan’s wild affair that led to an elopement. There’s a lot I know about their relationship that Cooper doesn’t and vice versa, and it’s fun having friendly gossip about his brother and my half-sister. We never mention my dad or his leg. We don’t have to. We both know we lost too much, but at least we’re friends again.
Friends is enough for me.
Friends is everything, actually.
Now that I have Cooper, there’s no way I’m going to let anything jeopardize our friendship again. I want to keep him, keepus, like this, forever.
Thirty-Three
Cooper
Past - Age 23
Ethan and I are at our favorite little hole-in-the-wall bar on Nantucket when the text comes in. We read it, then stare at each other before busting up.
Chandler: Your boy is 21!!!!! If you want to watch me get lit for the first time, come to this address and let’s party!
It’s paired with a screenshot from the maps app of a popular nightclub in town. He’s here. He’s on Nantucket. They must be renting a place.
“God, I miss that kid.” Ethan sighs.
“Me too. Should we go?” I set the phone on the table. He’s the one who got dumped, so I’m letting this one be his call, but I’ll be pretty devastated if I miss Chandler’s twenty-first birthday. The kid talked about it insensately, arguing with his parents that people with down syndrome can drink, same as anybody else.
Ethan’s eyes take on a devilish glimmer. “I think we have to.”
