Page 90 of Collateral Damage
Arden yells at Ethan to get out, and he yells back at her that our conversation is none of her business. She sits up, covering herself while she and my brother continue to argue, and the truth hits me hard, opening a wound I thought had been healed.
She doesn’t want me. She wants him.
I can’t be here for a moment longer. I snatch up my clothes, my mind spinning numbly as I walk across the hall to Ethan’s room and turn his shower to a scalding temperature. I’m freezing from the ocean water, my erection is gone, and more than anything, I need to wash away everything that just happened.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I almost took that girl’s virginity because of my selfish fucking ego.
It’s one thing to sleep around with willing participants, but it’s another to fixate on an eighteen-year-old virgin with gaping emotional wounds. Whoever she gives her virginity to needs to take it with care and respect, and they also need to take her heart and cherish it. I wasn’t doing any of those things. I don’t think I’m capable of them.
I wanted to fuck her like an animal, pretend she was Sybil, and get her out of my system.
I’m such a prick.
I step out of the shower, towel off, then find Ethan waiting for me. He’s standing by the door, his arms folded over his chest as if he’s playing bodyguard.
“Are we going to talk about what the hell that was?” he asks, his eyes narrowed into angry slits. “What iswrongwith you, Cooper? Arden is a virgin.”
Yup. The man islivid.“What’s there to talk about?” I sigh. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that.”
The mask of anger cracks, relief smoothing his features. “So…you’re not going to sleep with Arden?”
“She’s not worth the trouble.”
The anger returns, and in an instant, he’s on me, shoving me against the wall. That’s twice in ten minutes.
“She’s worth the trouble, you asshole, but she’s not like one of your hookups. If you want to be with her, you have to actually date her and treat her with the respect she deserves.”
I crack a smile and push him off, my index finger in his face. “Iknewit. You like her.”
He shakes his head. “I’m looking out for her.”
I snort. “Pretty sure she didn’t appreciate you ripping me off her when she wanted to fuck me.”
“Don’t call it fucking when you’re talking about her.”
His face is a thundercloud, but I laugh it off and walk past him, slipping into my bedroom. Thankfully, it’s empty. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to say to her when I see her again, but I know Ethan well enough to know he has real feelings for the girl, even if he won’t admit it. He won’t act on anything until he’s ready to be that guy she needs. Or maybe he won’t act on anything at all. Either way, I’m staying out of it from now on.
An hour later, he knocks on my door and asks me to go to the bar with him.
I’m not sure I’m up for it, but he sounds pathetic. “Please. I need to get out of this house. It’s too goddamn small tonight.”
Interesting word choice, considering our house is a fortress.
What’s my brother going to do next? Will he find a random girl to hook up with? He’s been uncharacteristically celibate thissummer. If he finds a woman, I can’t help but wonder who he’s trying to chase from his mind.
Sybil or Arden?
But Ethan doesn’t hook up with anyone.
Me, on the other hand? I never claimed to be perfect.
Thirty-Nine
Sybil
Present - Age 27
Gloria Ricci storms into the crew headquarters like a cyclone. Her black hair is in rollers and her eyes are sharp with anger. She looks around with utter determination, and when her gaze locks on mine, my stomach drops.
