Page 64 of Entirely Yours
Jules looks confused. “To be determined?”
“That, and you were tall, brooding, and dark in what I’ve come to learn is your signature black ensemble.” I gesture to his current outfit as proof. “You initially put on this tough guy air, but you’re secretly a softie.”
“I’ve never been in love,” he confesses.
I hum. “Not necessarily a bad thing.”
“For a long time,” he continues, “I thought maybe I wasn’t capable of it.”
“What changed?” I breathe, wanting to know. No, needing to know.
Jules looks me in the eye and gives me a partial answer. “A few things.”
It’s not a declaration—I think he knows I’m not ready for that—but it does reach deep down into my soul and soothe some of the more frayed bits of me. It’s another way for him to reassure me.
“We’re going to be okay?” I ask.
Jules pushes away a hair that’s fallen across my face. “Yeah, Rosie girl. We’re going to be okay.”
Life has been hectic over the past month. Jules finally finished his last semester of teaching and has been up at the coffee shop most days in preparation for their grand opening this weekend. He continues to do little things to reassure me—there was a definite shift with us after our date—but I’m still struggling to really commit. Still afraid that I’m missing something.
On the flip side, I am now firmly in my second trimester and have been feeling amazing physically. My summer dance classes started a week ago, and to my complete and utter shock, people actually showed up.
I love teaching the little kids, but I think my favorite class has been my advanced group. They are blowing me out of the water with their talent—I can’t wait to watch how they improve now that they have a studio in their own town. Ben mentioned something about a Labor Day festival that Sassafras puts on every year, so I’m hoping they’ll allow some of myclasses to perform.
Oh, and the apartment should be ready to move back into any day now.
I’m not as thrilled about that as I should be.
Jules gets a new wrinkle every time I bring it up, but he also insists that he wants me to do what’s best for me. I’m more concerned about the fact that we have come in and completely destroyed this man’s life and, no matter what he says, that has got to be taking a toll on him.
I’m glad I have a little more time before I have to make any decisions.
We also had our anatomy scan with Dr. Mitchell. Baby boy is looking great, and isdefinitelya boy. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do with a son—it does put Jules and I on a little bit more of an even playing field, though. This particular experience will be brand new for both of us.
I arrive at Bardot Brothers Coffee Co. and am greeted by three shirtless men. “I didn’t realize the coffee shop wasthatkind of establishment,” I tease.
Jules greets me with a kiss. “The A/C went out. You two,” he calls to his brothers, “put your shirts back on.”
“And take away all my fun? No, thank you.” The more I let Jules into my life, the more brooding and overprotective he gets. It’s as if he was holding it all back while I figured out how I felt, and now that I’ve shown a modicum of interest, he’s letting it all run free.
He scowls, throwing T-shirts at Gabe and Ben.
“Boo! I’m rating this place one star on Yelp.”
Ben laughs but puts his shirt on anyway. No one wants to mess with grumpy Jules. “Hey, Thea! How’s my favorite nephew?”
Everyone is excited about the bouncing baby boy that’s on the way. Well, everyone except Chloe who asked if I was able to fix that before he was born. For the girl who didn’t have any questions when we first told her about my pregnancy, she now has a new question every hour.
How did the baby get in there?
How does the baby get out?
Does the baby have a daddy?
Is JuJu going to be my daddy too?
That last one really threw me for a loop. Chloe doesn’t ask about her dad much, and when she does, I try to be as honest as possible, telling her some people aren’t ready to be parents and have a hard time taking care of themselves as it is. What I want to say is, “Your sperm donor is an asshole, and you’re better off without him.”
