Page 8 of Entirely Yours
But, she looks exhausted, and it’s almost four in the morning by this point. All of that can wait until morning.
“Somewhere else, then,” she muses.
We spend the next twenty minutes snacking and talking, sharing small touches that send sparks flying all over my skin, and eventually Thea passes out curled up against my side. It’s some of the best sleep I’ve ever gotten.
I wake up extremely disoriented with no idea what time it is or where I am. Fighting the all consuming grogginess, I stretch across the bed—and then freeze.
Because now I remember where I am and who should be in the bed next to me.
But Thea is gone.
One week later
Moving with a four-year-old is its own special kind of hell. One that exists deep in the fiery pits, ruled by an inconsolable toddler who makes you walk around barefoot on a floor lined with legos.
Dramatic? Maybe.
True? Definitely.
We’ve been in the same apartment since before Chloe was born, and after this whole experience, we aren’t leaving this new apartment any time soon.
Preferably never. Bury me here.
Over the last week, my dad, Hank, and I packed up our place in Boston, often repacking Chloe’s coloring books and stuffed animals after she decided shehadto have something and then promptlyforgot about it.
It’s been absolute chaos, and I’m sure it’ll be weeks until I can shake theShit, I’ve forgotten something!feeling.
Our rented U-Haul is loaded down with the few pieces of furniture we own, and I have sweat dripping down my back even though it’s early February in Massachusetts. Lovely.
I am thankful that my dad is here to help, though. Hank Rose is a mountain of a man with a graying handlebar mustache and much more of a Texas twang than I have. His full name is Henry Redford Rose, Redford after Robert Redford, but he gets real pissed if anyone calls him anything other than Hank or Pop. He grew up in West Texas, like the many generations before him, and only moved up here with me when I joined the ballet.
It was time, he’d told me. My mom and his mom were gone by that point, and I think we both wanted to get away from all of the memories Texas held, both good and bad.
However, that did not stop him from flying down to Texas when he found out I was pregnant with Chloe so he could bring back some Texas dirt to put under my hospital bed. “No grandchild of mine will be born over anything other than Texas soil,” he said. Soil sounding more likesole.
I had felt so ashamed that I was pregnant at nineteen with a devil of a man as the father that I didn’t argue with Dad’s crazy superstitions. Dad has never made me feel anything other than loved, so I let him get away with being a little kooky.
Chloe cannot stop talking about moving to a smaller town because it means we can afford a—very small—three bedroom apartment. She has decided the theme of her new room is going to be unicorns and rainbows, painted onto the wall by me, myself, and I, of course.
I am also thrilled to not be sharing a room with a snoring four-year-old anymore. Maybe I’ll actually get some sleep for the first time in almost five years.
You slept pretty well with Jules the other night,my brain reminds me.
Stupid brain.
The truth is, I woke up freaking out that this man I had known less than twelve hours had already wormed his way into my very being. Quite literally, I was a snowglobe that hadn’t been touched in ages until he shook me so hard, the little fake snow pieces would never quite return to their original places.
So I left. Before he could leave me.
I’ll examine that later.
I pull the truck up to the parking spot in front of our new building, with Dad pulling the U-Haul in next to me. Hopping out of the car, I unbuckle Chloe from her carseat and throw her on my hip. She’s getting so big, I know there will be a day I can’t hold her like this anymore.
“What do you think, Chlo? Pretty cute little town, right?” I ask, squeezing her a bit closer.
“I like it, Mama,” she replies, looking around as her ponytail whips me in the face. “But where are all the people?”
We’ve never taken Chloe down to my hometown in Texas, and now I’m realizing she’s never really been out of Boston, a city always bustling with people.
