Page 85 of Entirely Yours
“So, why did you make me get out of bed on a Saturdaymorning? I’m going to assume it’s not because you wanted to watch the damn dog attempt to learn new tricks.”
“Language!” Chloe shouts from the ground.
“Just wanted to get out of the house, that’s all.”
Cole eyes me over the top of her coffee cup, a look of disbelief etched across her features. “Chloe, can I show you the patio? Ernest loves to play out there.”
Chloe nods enthusiastically, and Cole walks her over to the French door that separates us from a patio and small yard space. I watch as Ernest’s tail swings side to side, waiting for Chloe to toss him the ball.
Once they are settled, Cole comes back in, plopping down on the chaise lounge across from me. “Alright, spill.”
“It's nothing!” I don’t sound even a little bit casual. “I just… Well, Jules and I moved in together.”
Cole’s confusion is evident. “Didn’t you already live together?”
“That’s what Ben said.”
Her face screws up even more. “Blegh. Okay, so if you already lived together then how did you move in together?”
“Well, the plan was to move back into the apartment after they finished the repairs from the busted pipe. That took longer than expected and I got comfortable at Jules’ place, and then I went back to visit the apartment when it was finally done and realized there was no way I was going to be able to bring a baby back there.” My head falls back against the cushion. “It’s more practical to live with Jules.”
“It can be practical and also something you want, Thea. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.”
I don’t know that I’ve looked at it that way. Most of my life I feel like I’ve had to choose between being practical or doing the thing that I want. I can’t honestly think of a time when the two have coexisted.
“He moved all of my things into his room,” I add. “It was really sweet.”
“I’m telling you, Jules has always been my favorite Bardot. He’s a really fucking good guy.”
“I know…” Then I remember why I came over here in the first place. “He’s being weird, though. Do you think he regrets moving me in?”
Cole’s head sways side to side as she contemplates my words. “I can’t see him going through all of this, sticking by you—and doing a damn good job of it—and then suddenly regretting it.”
“Then how do you explain the behavior? I asked him to go baby shopping with me, and I couldn’t get him to commit. I’ve shown him a couple of pieces of art that I thought would go well in the nursery, and nothing. He’s pulling away.”
“It’s got to be something else,” Cole states. “It makes no sense for him to turn on a dime like that.”
“Maybe…” I pause for a beat. “Have you ever been to therapy?”
“Everyone should go to therapy,” Cole replies. “Of course I’ve been.”
“I’ve started going. Iris thinks I need to work on assuming positive intent in those around me.” I groan. “Easier said than done. Okay great, so I assume that Jules is not pulling away, and then I’m left heartbroken when he does?”
Cole looks at me for a long moment. “Will it hurt any less if you assume that he will eventually pull away and then it does happen? Seems like it would really fucking suck either way.”
I sit up and stare at her. “Say that again.”
“If you assume that Jules is going to leave you, or whatever terrible thing you’re telling yourself, and then he does, it’s still going to hurt just as much as if you assume that he’s never going to leave you and then he does. Plain and simple, it would hurt like hell if he left you.” She shrugs. “So why not enjoy the time you do have together, however long that may be?”
“Damn. They aren’t lying when they say with age comes wisdom.”
Cole flips me off like I knew she would. “Fuck you, I’m not even thirty yet.”
“But you’re about to be.” I wink. “We should go out and celebrate! Do you have other friends?”
“No.” Cole responds.
“Just you and me, then. I heard Louie’s does a mean karaoke night.”
