Page 91 of Entirely Yours
“Dad said something about going to Louie’s, and when I said I wanted to go home, he said that I need to talk to you about it.” She sighs, the weight of the world on her shoulders. “What’s going on, Jules?” She looks exhausted.
“It’s a baby shower. It was supposed to be a surprise, but I can call and cancel it right now. Everyone will understand.”
“Everyone?” she asks.
My hands find my hair, like they usually do when I’m nervous. She clocks it immediately but doesn’t say anything. “Ben and Gabe planned it. They might have been a bit overzealous when sending out invitations. I’ve been trying to keep it a secret, but I’m shit at secrets. It’s why I’ve been avoiding you.”
Thea chews on her nail, one arm crossed over her chest. Her shoulders seem to rise half an inch with every breath. It dawns on me then that she went into early labor with Chloe due to stress, and I’m easily contributing to excess stress in thispregnancy as well. “Every word that comes out of my mouth makes me realize just how royally I fucked this up. I… I wanted to surprise you, but…”
She rubs her brow. “Your intentions were good, Jules. I know that. I shouldn’t be upset with you, but I am.” Her eyes wander back over to Chloe, who takes that as a sign to join us.
“Pop told me!” She jumps up and down. “Can we go to Louie’s to take a shower? Please!”
Her word mixup makes Thea smile. She looks like she would rather go home and sleep for five days, but instead she says, “Of course, Chlo. We have to go celebrate your baby brother, don’t we?”
“We really don’t have to,” I whisper so Chloe doesn’t hear.
“Yes. We do,” Thea replies, without looking at me.
This is going to be fun.
“Is it me or is this the worst party anyone’s ever been to?” Ben leans over, whispering in my ear.
Cole, from his other side, swats him across the chest. “Stop. It’s not that bad.”
It’s pretty bad.
To most people, Thea probably looks like the glowing mother-to-be she’s expected to be, graciously accepting gifts from townspeople and nibbling absentmindedly on a cookie shaped like a baby rattle. But to those of us who have grown to know her—really know her—she looks like she’d rather be anywhere else.
“Go over there,” Cole hisses, eyes boring into me.
I look at Ben. “She’s kind of scary.”
He smirks—something I can’t even begin to interpret right now—and says, “I know. I fucking love it.”
Cole and I both groan at that.
I weave my way over to Thea, who is accepting yet anotherknitted blanket from Harriet, the local florist. Seeing Harriet inspires me to grab one white and one red rose from a nearby centerpiece to bring to Thea. A feeble attempt at an apology.
“It’s beautiful!” she coos. “Thank you so much, Harriet.”
Harriet pats Thea’s cheek and then turns to face me. “We are all so excited for you, Julien. You’ve always been the most responsible Bardot brother”—she peeks over my shoulder, where I’m sure Ben and Gabe are fucking around—“and you’re going to be a great dad.”
I give her a tight-lipped smile because I feel anything but responsible today. Actually, I do feel responsible, but responsible for Thea’s frustration instead of her joy.
Harriet eyes the flowers in my hand. “Some of my best work and you plucked it right out of the centerpiece,” she tuts.
I mutter an apology and lean into Thea as Harriet walks away. “Can we talk?” My hand finds the small of her back, and my stomach drops when I feel her tense up.
Bringing my hand back down, I shove it in my pocket instead. Thea’s eyes are closed and she murmurs a quiet, “Sorry.”
“It’s fine, I just want to…” I don’t know what I want. To rewind a few weeks and do all of this a little differently? To apologize for being late to the performance earlier? To beg her to trust me that it will never happen again?
Thea gets Chloe’s attention and tells her to go find Hank. She quickly runs off, snatching another cookie as she goes—the adrenaline high from earlier obviously turning into a sugar high.
After a moment, Thea turns to me, her eyes not meeting mine. “Not here,” she says, walking toward the exit. I follow her out onto the street and then into the door that leads to her old apartment. We hike up the stairs in silence and then stop in the hallway between her place and Ben’s.
When she eventually looks me in the eye, I see so many mixed emotions, it’s hard to latch onto one. “When I came to Sassafras eight months ago, my goal was to start over. Build anew life for Chloe and me. Fix some of the mistakes I’d made in the past.” She pauses, contemplating, and I let her process. “I realize now that I was also running away, in a sense. From the mistakes I was trying to ‘fix.’ Away from people who made me feel so fucking worthless.”
