Page 36 of The Viscount's Daring Cinderella
His uncle loudly cleared his throat, tugging his gaze from Beryl. When he glanced at his uncle, it was to see him volleying his gaze from Beryl to himself.
Bloody hell. Theodore suspected he had not hidden his hunger for her, given the narrowed-eye look of censure his uncle levelled on him. Theodore nodded once and resumed eating the superb meal his cook had put together. He was relieved when dinner came to an end. He went to his room and stood staring through the window into the garden. Theodore could not sleep because he felt consumed with a sense of restlessness and far too complex wants stabbing inside his chest. The only thing he was certain that resided in the center of this storm … was Lady Beryl.
After dinner,Beryl checked on the girls before she went to bed. She ascended the stairs and entered the drawing room that was attached to the girls’ bedroom. The carpet muffled the sounds of her footsteps, so they did not hear her approach. The girlsshould already be asleep, but she heard whispers. Beryl stood still and listened.
“I miss mother and father so much, Louise.”
“I miss them terribly, Mattie.”
“I wish they could come back from heaven,” Mattie said.
Beryl smiled even as she ached for them. Children were so wonderfully innocent and naïve. It was their purity that makes them so special.
“I know you do, but they cannot,” Louise replied. “Do you remember that uncle told us so?”
“Yes. I used to go around the house looking for mother and father, but I do not do that anymore,” Mattie said.
Beryl’s heart clenched before it began to beat more slowly. They were wise enough to know that if their parents were here, they would protect and love them. She wished that she could go to them, hug them to her and stroke their hair. The pain that the girls experienced at such a tender age was unimaginable. Beryl would do all that she could to make them have a bit of happiness in each day.
“It makes sense to stop because you will not find them. Things are getting better, Mattie. You do not cry out in your sleep as much.”
“You are right. I have not had a nightmare this week,” she said brightly.
“Uncle has said he will stay home and will not travel to the continent soon. That is good news, is it not?” Mattie asked.
“Indeed. I hope that he does not leave us. Although …”
“Although what, Louise?”
“Although we have Lady Beryl now. She will remain here with us even if uncle goes away,” Louise replied.
“Do you really think that she will stay with us?” Mattie asked.
“I do,” Louise replied.
Mattie gave a small yawn. “I am happy Lady Beryl is here. She is very pretty and nice, and she takes good care of us.”
A thick lump formed in Beryl’s throat. She swallowed hard and bit back tears. The poor things.
“Uncle cares about us, Mattie. I think he misses father too.”
“Louise, do you think that mother and father are in heaven because I was naughty? Did I do bad?”
“No, Mattie. It was an accident. Accidents happen sometimes, and it was not because of anything that we did.”
When Beryl’s father died, she felt shock, numbness, sadness, and confusion. She was of age and could understand the emotions she was feeling. How could these small children make sense of it? Beryl pivoted to leave the room. She would not let them know that she had overheard this private moment. She vowed to support the girls as much as she could. She would do all that she could to lessen their heartache.
Beryl went up the stairs and into her bedchamber. She slowly removed her clothes and put on a cotton nightgown. For a long time, she stared at her door, wondering if she should seek out Theodore. Heat burned her cheeks when she recalled how intensely he stared at her during dinner. What had he been thinking?
Seating herself at the quaint writing desk positioned near the window, she pulled a sheet of paper towards her, dipped her pen in the inkwell, and began to pour her thoughts into a letter.
Dearest Flora,
I find myself missing you more with each passing day. I am in good health and have discovered a comforting sense of peace and contentment here at Bowden Park. There’s no cause for worry regarding my treatment. Lord Bowden is exceptionally kind and considers the welfare of all his staff with utmost importance. Your recent letter prompteda period of deep reflection on my part, leading me to a truth I must now acknowledge. I have developed feelings for the viscount, feelings so profound and unfamiliar that they leave me somewhat bewildered. The intensity of these emotions is something I’ve never experienced before, and I find myself falling for Theodore, harboring a cautious optimism in my heart. Yet, there’s a part of me that fears these sentiments may remain unreciprocated.
The children are wonderful, and they are a constant joy. Each day I spend in their company only deepens my yearning for a family of my own. This longing fills me with a touch of sadness, as I confront the possibility that I may never experience the bliss of motherhood and a family of my own.
Do not worry that I am in despair, because I am somewhat content living with the girls and the viscount. I am not at all treated shabbily but with care and respect. I look forward to hearing from you soon and hope that all is well on your end.
