Page 38 of The Viscount's Daring Cinderella
Theodore looked away in an effort to lessen her discomfort which was plain to see. He was unequivocal and knew why he felt this way. “Yes.”
“Very well.” She finished lacing the nightgown and quietly left the room.
An unnatural stillness fell over Theodore. He walked over to the desk and cursed under his breath. He ran both hands through his hair and closed his eyes.Beryl. While a woman naked before him sparked no reaction, the mere memory of Beryl’s face caused an excited flutter in his belly. He did not belong here and was a fool to believe that he did. Theodore had never been so discontented with one of these events, and the only thing that he could think of was Beryl. He had finally found someone who made him see that there was more to life than the pursuit of his pleasure.
He sat down at the desk and rummaged through it until he found a pen and paper. He penned a note to Moreland because he knew Moreland was otherwise occupied. Theodore left the note on the desk where he knew Moreland would find it and left through the back door. If someone had asked him a few weeks ago, Theodore would happily have said he was a rake. He owned the title. Tonight, he came to the conclusion that this was nolonger the life for him. Nothing inside Moreland house appealed to him. It was only her … Beryl seemed to own his desires, and Theodore was a bit unsure how to feel about it.
I’ll be damned.
A few weekspassed and Theodore was surprised by how content he was at Bowden Park. He had not planned to remain in England for too long, but now he delayed any plans for future travel. Beryl had made him reflect more and more on his relationship with Mattie and Louise. Theodore knew he could do better, and he wanted to try. It was something that he was discovering about himself. Once he embraced the lifestyle of a rogue, but he wanted to be a better person. For one, he was angry that William had been ripped from his life so soon, but he had to let go of this anger. Being angry would not bring William back, and it had no effect on his circumstances.
He would honor William’s memory by doing right by the children and ensuring the continued success of the viscountcy. They needed him. They needed nurturance, care, concern, warmth, and affection. He could not provide it if he were away more than he was at home. He had been a damned fool; God help him.
His uncle would have been pleased if Theodore had returned to London to find a wife, but while he was prepared to reduce his travel and pay more attention to the estate, he still did not want a wife. He opened the door to his room, strolled over to a wingback chair by the fire and sank into the chair’s plush depth. He analyzed what transpired between him and Beryl and the raw emotion that he felt when they kissed.
The last time he lost self-control, which was precisely what he wanted to prevent. It was a fact that he did not wish to marry and that Beryl wanted a husband. Nothing had changed. Yet, he found himself staring at her quite often and yearning to just be in her presence. It was not as easy as thinking that he wanted her and she wanted him. No. His rational mind knew that they should never share such intimacy, but he could not get her out of his head.
Just thinking about exploring her wet folds caused his cock to stir. She had been so wet and ready for him, so hot, so enticing. Theodore scrubbed a hand over his face and smiled ruefully when he remembered she wanted him to kiss her. To break her rules and break down the barrier between them. How much he wanted to, yet if he had, he would have ended up with his cock buried deep inside her.
All her virtues that he exalted to his uncle were quite true. He was getting to know Beryl, and he liked what he saw, whether he wanted to or not. Beryl connected with the girls in a way that he had not, and seeing this made him want to make the effort. She understood how William’s loss affected him, and she was supportive when she mentioned the changes he needed to make. The effect she had on him was the darndest thing. She did not judge or condemn him.
Last night, he was desperate to cool his ardor as he lay tossing and turning in bed. It was torture. This morning, he decided that he would steel himself so that he could be immune to her sensuality, but after sitting with her at dinner, he did not think that would work. It did not go well. Desire coursed through him, and he desperately wanted to kiss and touch her. Perhaps it would be best to stay away from the temptation. Yet, he felt comfort in her presence even if he could not have her.
Theodore sighed his frustration. It was more a pity that he was not thinking about affirming his future plans. If he were, Beryl would be a contender.
Theodore chuckled ruefully. He stood up, undressed, and crawled under the covers. He willed himself not to think of Beryl’s heated passion. He tried, but he failed. He dreamed that she had come to him and that they were lost in a torrent of passion.
Hours later he pulled the curtains back. He was usually an early riser, but he slept late because he had such a restless night. He gazed out at the lawn. His heart squeezed when he saw Beryl with Louise holding one hand and Mattie the other. The girls let go of Beryl’s hand and made a dash for the garden. Beryl had remained standing until the girls had gained a considerable advantage before she chased after them. Theodore grinned. He wondered what they were doing outside at this hour. He expected them to be in the tutor room.
Theodore washed, dressed, and went to the garden. As he approached, he heard Beryl and the girls before he saw them. Today, it appeared they had opted for an outdoor meal, with a generous assortment of dishes laid out on a table. “Lady Beryl, sometimes I do not remember everything about mother, and I feel terrible about it,” Mattie said.
“I know this can sometimes be confusing or upsetting, Mattie, but the most important thing is that your mother is alive in your heart because you love her.”
“But Louise remembers so much more than I do.”
“That is because I am older, Mattie. I will have more memories,” Louise said.
“That is true, Louise. You see, Mattie, if you do not remember them, Louise will share her memories with you. They are special to you both.”
“Yes, Mattie. I can tell you about what mother liked and that will help you to remember her.”
“She was happy and always smiling.”
“Yes, Mattie. She was,” Louise said.
“Louise and Mattie, finish eating so that we can get on with your lessons.”
Theodore stepped from the shadows.
“Good morning,” he said as his gaze lingered on Beryl. Her gaze swept his face, searching.
“Good morning, Lord Bowden,” Beryl said smiling.
Her loveliness struck his heart and he swallowed hard.
“Good morning, Uncle. Will you join us for breakfast?”
“As a matter of fact, I will,” Theodore said as he took a seat at the table.
