Page 24 of Her Beastly Duke
“Back then, I believed that I was, but maturity made me realize it was infatuation. Véronique never loved me, I am certain of that. She never came to see me before I left France, and I never heard from her again.”
“I am sorry,” Briar calmly replied, although, for some reason, she was pleased that Julius never loved Véronique. She turned and left the library so that Julius would not see the little smile on her face. Briar did not understand why that bit of news made her happy; it just did.
As Briar walked to her bedchamber, she reflected on the conversation. Julius had been honest about his shortcomings and weaknesses even though it hurt to speak about the circumstances that led to his introspection. He did not pretend his imperfections did not exist or wait for them to come tumbling down. Instead, he examined his character and sought to improve himself and become a better person. There are not many men who would be willing to admit they have weaknesses, as they would be considered failures. He said he learned humility, and Briar would agree. Humility was not denying his strengths; it was being forthright about what he needed to change. Julius was human and more than a lofty duke.
She admired him, and that was harmless enough. He need not know about it. On the other hand, kissing was the thing she needed to be wary of. Mama suggested she gain the duke's affection. She would not approve of Briar behaving recklessly and causing a scandal. They were already in a difficult position with Duncan’s shenanigans and only narrowly escaped a scandal. The trouble was that shelikedkissing him. It felt good.
She entered her bedchamber and instructed staff to prepare her bath. Briar realized she would need to work harder atkeeping her desire in check and not give in to temptation. This trip to London was significant. Julius wanted to participate in the season for the first time in several years. He would attend endless social events and meet many debutantes. London was a marriage market during the season. There would be beautiful young ladies looking for a spouse. Did the trip to London mean he had no feelings for her?
CHAPTER 11
Julius had a bath, but it was not a warm one. He needed a cold bath to temper his cock’s twitch. A curse left his lips when he sank into the tub, and it was a sobering moment. He was surprised at how much he revealed to Briar. He had never discussed his feelings for Véronique. Julius put it down to the fact that he could not help but be comfortable with her. Bearing his soul to her was easy. It was the only explanation. He felt safe and at home with Briar.
Confiding in her was one thing, and kissing her was something else entirely, even if she was offering her sweet lips to be kissed. She wanted it, and he needed it. It had been years since he had such an urge to kiss a woman, and he enjoyed the feeling that was awakened. He never wanted it to go away; he had to bask in it. Yet, at the same, he knew he was a bit fragile, not having opened himself up to companionship for some time. What he felt today was more than a spark. It was a hot flash in his consciousness, and it took all his strength not to kiss her a second time, even though she asked for it. She was truly bold, this one. Had she stolen a kiss with a suitor during her first season?
Even if Briar had a clandestine kiss, Julius was certain she was otherwise untouched. This was not the French court, and it would do him good to remember that. He would be expected to make an offer if he crossed the line with a lady of noble blood. Julius already knew the reason he was not inclined to think of Briar as a potential duchess. He should be careful in his choice. Julius drummed his fingers against the side of the tub. He would not sit there for much longer. The water was getting colder. None of his rational thoughts had eclipsed his desire to kiss her soft lips and explore her eager mouth. There was no denying it. He wanted her.
Julius completed his bath and dressed. He was looking forward to sitting down to dinner with Briar this evening. The anticipation was different from before. He was even more curious about her now and understood he would only have her company for a short time before they would depart for London. He was sure her family would agree because they would see the advantage. It was a generous offer. He would enjoy her company, but it would be best to refrain from further intimacy. Briar was far too tempting for her own good. It was going to be damned hard to keep his lips off her, if not impossible, but what choice did he have? He must try.
Julius made his way to the drawing room and entered. Briar had not arrived, so he poured himself a brandy and stood by the fireplace, staring into the flames. The flames burned bright and provided much comfort after his cold bath. The door opened, and he spun around to find Briar looking exquisite in a green dress. She had left her hair loose tonight, tresses tumbling over her shoulders. He wanted to bury his face in her hair and inhale deeply, capturing the essence of her. She gave him a wide smile which he returned.
“Would you like a glass of wine?”
“Thank you.”
“I must say that I am curious about something.”
“And what might that be, Julius?”
“Have you ever stolen a kiss?”
A soft gasp from her pink lips. “That is none of your business.”
Julius regarded her, and he did not miss the flicker in her eyes before she quickly lowered her lashes. He had gone too far.
“I am sorry if I—”
“There is no need to apologize, Julius. I have been kissed, but it is not in the way that you think.”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“A purported gentleman, who will remain unnamed, took liberties when I did not even like him. He was interested in me, but I would not court him. I gave him no indication that I wished to be kissed, and we were only alone for a brief moment before he pounced. I was shaken by the incident, and I dared not speak of it for fear I would be forced to marry him. I do not know if my fear was rational or not. I was disgusted by his kiss and pawing hands, and I vowed never to marry.” Briar’s voice had trailed off to a whisper by the time she got to the end of the story.
The tale riled Julius, and he would love to have a word or two with this gentleman who overstepped the mark with his unwanted advance. It was churlish, to say the least. Briar’s eyes remained downcast. A part of him wondered if she was sanitizing the entire episode, and it was worse than she wanted to let on. He was angry that someone had hurt her, even though it was long before they met. The episode was unpleasant enough for her to be mistrustful of men. Women in society were reared to wed and raised a family. Briar’s duty was to run her household and produce an heir.
“I am sorry to learn that you had that experience. Are you sure you do not wish to tell me his name? I could pay him a visit.”
Briar's laughter tinkled. “I shall not, as much as I would like to. Before the incident, I dreamed of a grand courtship, an engagement, and a wedding. I wanted a grand love story, but it was not meant to be.”
Compassion swelled in his chest, for she had taken him as a confidante. It was likely Briar had never shared this intimate detail before, and now that he knew, Julius somehow wished he could have protected her. He wanted no one else to kiss her. Only him.
Briar gave him a bold stare. “I would rather put it out of my mind and think of morepleasantexperiences.”
Damn.
She was thinking of the kiss they shared, and immediately, Julius felt the tension fill the room. His eyes dropped to her lips, but he was saved from doing exactly what he promised not to do. Otis entered the drawing room to announce that dinner was ready. Julius led Briar into the dining room, where they had a pleasant meal. Well, the morsel that they had. All the tension from the drawing room had accompanied him into the dining room and settled in the pit of his stomach. He was hungry, but he could not eat. Briar had not fared better, for she placed bits from each dish on her plate and then pushed it around. She had the occasional piece here and there but most of her meal went back to the kitchen. That was when he knew that she was feeling it, too.
Briar drank her wine and was attentive during dinner. Julius realized he had not thought about his mask all evening. The meal ended, but Julius did not want her to go. He wanted her close just for a while longer.
