Page 22 of The Earl's Heiress
“I do. For years, I could see the farms were faltering, and things needed to change. We would not realize the benefits of modernization if we did not embrace the change. I had plans and ideas about how we could achieve this, but my father wouldn’t hear of it.”
“Why do you think he is so resistant to change?”
“The changes would have disrupted all that was familiar to him and his father before him. Perhaps it was the fear of the unknown and he felt threatened.”
“To some degree, I can understand his resistance. I have traveled across the world to a country with different norms, and I will slowly embrace the unknown till it becomes familiar.”
“Will you really? When did you decide this? Because I can safely tell you that climbing trees and picking your own fruit will not ingratiate you into society.”
“Temple, I’m beginning to wonder if I should want to be a part of society at any cost.”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“There are many things over which I have no control. As a young lady, the change in my life was not by my own choice but because of my parents’ choices. I must adapt.”
“Think of it this way. The entire experience will make you more resilient. You won’t fear change, and any change in your circumstances won’t be so off-putting.”
“I understand this, but if I’m to be constantly criticized for being different from everyone else, I will constantly think of changing how I behave. Don’t you see that eventually, I won’t have the characteristics that make me … me anymore?”
“I think it is natural to be a bit apprehensive but think of changing like a new challenge. I suppose it would be like the first time you climbed a tree.”
Arabella chuckled. “I remember that experience only too well. I happily climbed until I got to the top. Everything was fine until I looked down and realized how far I had come. I was scared to death of falling, but I had to get back down. It took me some time. I did it one limb at a time.”
“You must have given your parents such a fright.”
“They never knew. I’m very good at keeping secrets.”
Temple chuckled. “Should I be worried?”
“Why would you be worried? We all have secrets, don’t we?”
“All this talk about changes on the estate and secrets reminds me of why I feel guilty. Not guilty that my father died because I couldn’t have prevented it. My guilt stems from not being more understanding. Change doesn’t just happen because it takes time to learn and grow. Father and I had a terrible quarrel and harsh words were exchanged, words that I can’t take back and I must live with this for the rest of my life.”
“As I know only too well, it is not easy to disagree with your parents. I’m sure your father knew you didn’t mean the words you said in anger.”
“I don’t know that. There’s no way for me to know that. How could I let it happen?”
“I know this is a scary truth, but it was beyond your control. It was truly not your fault, and I suppose you need to find a way to gradually forgive yourself.”
Temple was comforted by Arabella’s words, and he instinctively pulled her even closer against his chest. He was soothed by the gentle feel of her head on his shoulder. It was somehow consoling and gave him a sense of satisfaction. She would be his. As their journey took them closer to home, disappointment muddled his thoughts. He didn’t want to release her.
“Deep down inside, I know that you’re right because I can’t undo the squabble.”
“Well, you could look to the future and resolve never to say harsh words or at least never to go to bed without apologizing for said words. There would be no change of making the same mistake twice.”
“I believe these are wise words.”
Temple felt Arabella burrow even closer to him, though he didn’t think it was possible. She tightened her hold on his waist and his heart was beating so loudly in his chest that he was certain she could hear it. He was happy they had the opportunity to spend time alone because he was beginning to understand her. He hadn’t thought much about what they had in common because he focused on their differences, but he could see it now. Both of their lives had gone through significant change, and just as she had brought him a sense of comfort, he wanted to do the same for her. Her parents would eventually leave her in his care, and he vowed to shield her, if only from herself.
The crisp, cold air caused a gust, and the wind swirled a light dust as they rode home. The sun’s heat warmed his skin, and Temple inhaled the scent of her hair, a waltz of Bulgarian rose, musk, and bergamot—a racy, quite seductive scent. He swallowed hard. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in front of a fireplace with her and get cozy. He felt as if he had been handed something very sweet, unexpected, and exceedingly desirable.
CHAPTER 10
Arabella sat at her dressing table while the maid prepared her hair. It was two days since her fall, and she wondered if Temple would always need to rescue her. She hoped he would not grow exasperated. First, it was the kiss of life, and now this. She decided not to count their impending nuptials because if he hadn’t helped her, they would not have found themselves in that predicament.
She had barely seen Temple in the last two days. At times, she didn’t know what to make of him. One minute, he appeared to be very happy to be with her, but he became cold and distant the very next. Arabella sighed in frustration as it was very confusing. She was unable to pinpoint exactly why he was hot or cold or if he was just not enjoying her company. Arabella bit the corner of her lip. Temple was considerate of her feelings. It helped that he did not chastise her for her unladylike behavior. She was sure he enjoyed her company on the ride home. She recalled how his eyes were filled with concern and how tenderly he cleaned her face. By the time his hands fell to her lips, she could hardly breathe, and all thoughts of the embarrassing fall disappeared.
Before she knew it, he had taken her in his arms. He smelled of sandalwood and spice, and she could feel his muscular strength. Hard, strong muscles. He carried her effortlessly and placed her on his horse, although she didn’t think it was necessary for her to ride with him. That was before his arms reached around her to hold the reins. Suddenly, her male attire seemed insufficient as she was sure that she could feel the heart of his body through the layer of cotton. Her heart rate was accelerating, although she willed it to behave. With her head lying against him, she listened to his heart beating wildly in his chest, and it was like music. She knew he felt the same stir from being close to her and she couldn’t help but smile.
