Page 37 of The Earl's Heiress
She shouldn’t be thinking about how handsome he looked and the flutter in her belly as he flashed a warm smile. Arabella didn’t sit across from him as she normally would. She remained standing. “Thank you for asking, but I’m afraid I didn’t.”
Temple stood up, walked over to her and gently raised her chin. “Is something the matter?” His gaze held concern.
Her breath almost hitched in her throat. “Shall we sit?” She motioned to the sofa, and they both sat.
She had his undivided attention. “My mind is not at ease, so I didn’t rest well.” She paused before the words rushed from her mouth. “I’m unhappy, Temple, and I don't want to be unhappy. Isn’t that what you want to too?”
“This is a significant change for you, a new country, family and society. I knew it would be difficult for you when your family returned to America because your loneliness would be more acute, but I thought you would build friendships through charity work. Eventually, you will adjust. It takes patience.”
“I have made acquaintances, but it will take time for these to develop into friendships. You were quick to speak of friendships, but what about us? You have been away quite often, and I barely see you even when you are here. I’m beginning to doubt we will even have a honeymoon.”
“Of course, we will have a honeymoon. We spoke of this before, and I thought you accepted the delay and realized—”
“And I thought you would have been more conscious of my feelings, yet you failed to consider them. You listened, but you didn’t hear me. You chose to disregard it, which leads me to believe you want a marriage in name only.”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“There’s no intimacy between us, Temple. I feel there is a growing distance between us, and I don’t like it.”
“A growing distance? Nothing could be further from the truth. You seem to have an ideal of the perfect marriage, Arabella, and you’re disappointed because those ideals do not match the reality.”
Arabella gasped. “Are you blaming me?”
“There is no need to cast blame. I’m merely pointing out that there are certain conventions here.”
“Conventions?” Arabella raised a brow. How would conventions stop him from being a husband to her?
“Yes. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you … this is not America. An English wife takes care of the home, patronizes a charity, and has a creative pastime, playing an instrument, drawing, or painting. She wouldn’t expect her husband to be at her beck and call because he is otherwise occupied running the estate and being in the House of Lords.”
“This is an unfair characterization. I don’t expect you to be at my –”
“No. It isn’t an unfair characterization.”
Temple ran his hand through his hair, ruffling the curls, something she longed to do so many times as she lay alone in bed, an empty space beside her.
“Women here are expected to be ignorant of the world, meek, and to lack such strong opinions. They are prepared for this role in marriage and even if they doubted the man’s commitment, they wouldn’t question it. Our family and this estate have had their fair set of challenges, but I’m determined not to make the same mistakes as my father. I must do what is required to ensure the state is never again depleted. I will do my duty.”
Arabella’s fingers were digging into her palms. “ Must you make a choice? What does your duty have to do with being a loving husband? Somehow, you cannot fulfill your duty and love your wife?”
Temple scoffed. She could sense the barely controlled power that was coiled in his body. He was not accustomed to being questioned. “Love? What a fanciful notion. With sufficient maturity, you will understand love isnota factor in our marriage, Arabella. People in our position don’t marry for love. Families make advantageous unions, and that is how ithas always been. Men usually choose women from the same background, similar upbringing, and parity of status, all features of a good match. We want a wife with a good temperament and compatibility rather than pursuing a romantic passion, which might be fleeting. You may idealize marrying for love, yet it is not as important. You are well-read, and I know several manuals have been written about marriage.”
His words stung, whether he intended them to or not. He appeared to suggest she was immature; her behavior was unbecoming and that she should read a manual to learn how to deport herself. She interpreted it as a criticism of her etiquette and refinement.
She fixed him with a glare and stood. “Are you implying that I should read a manual instructing me on behaving as your wife?” The pitch of her voice dropped to a whisper. “And that you will never love me?” He didn't reply, but he didn’t need to. She felt ice spreading through her stomach. The answer was in his eyes, and she shivered a little at his expression, as realization washed over her. Arabella spun around and walked purposefully toward the door. She didn’t look back when he called her name.
“Arabella, wait.”
She swallowed the throb in her throat. Her lower lip trembled, but she bit it until it throbbed like a pulse. She opened the door, stepped into the hallway and slammed the door behind her. It was clear that they disagreed on the very nature of marriage. She wanted a happy marriage safe in knowing she could pour her heart out, and her husband would listen. She was learning about him and didn’t like what she saw. He made his position evident, and there seemed to be no room for compromise. Their conversation hadn’t produced the results she wanted, but although she was hurt, this was not her failure. Temple was the one who would not take responsibility for his actions, and she knew exactly what she would do aboutit. Startled by the thought that flashed through her mind, her hands shook. Yet, she knew she had no choice.
CHAPTER 19
Two weeks later
Temple had just returned to the estate. The chair scraped across the floor as he stood up quickly, trying to still the tremor in his hands and pounding in his chest. “What do you mean she is not here? Where is she?”
“The countess departed a week ago, my lord. The carriage took her to Southampton, where she boarded a ship bound for America.” The butler replied.
His knees almost gave way, and he slumped into his chair. He was ashamed that the butler had to tell him his wife's whereabouts.
