Page 18 of Arranged Obsession
Attraction stabs down into my guts. It tangles my stomach like ants crawling around my intestines. I’m afraid of him, but I’m also strangely drawn, and I can’t stop staring. He’s so damn good looking, it’s almost absurd. If Finn’s nowhere near my type, then Cormac hits the mark exactly.
“Ah, and this is my other son, Cormac. He’s here as moral support,” Padraig says smoothly.
Cormac only nods, staring straight back at me, his gaze unwavering and terrifyingly intense, like he can’t seem to pull himself away. And I meet his look with one of my own, mouth open slightly, tongue pressed against the back of my teeth, heart racing up into my throat like it wants to scream.
What is it about this guy? Why do I feel like I’ve seen him before? And why do I have the sudden urge to run my hand through his hair and press my mouth against his lips just to see if he bites off my tongue or not?
But Adriano’s already inviting everyone inside, and I’m forced to walk alongside Finn as we head back into the house.
Every step I take, I’m completely and terrifyingly aware of Cormac staring at my back.
“Look,I feel like I should say that this wasn’t my idea.” Finn hunches over a beer as we sit together in the gaming room. It’s modeled after an English pub with a pool table and lots of old wood. Apparently, my grandfather had an Anglophone streak in him and built this place when the mansion was just coming up.
“I figured that.” I swirl my glass of wine, not really in the mood for drinking. Which is fine, since Finn’s got us both covered. He’s already down to his third beer, and we’ve only been chatting for about a half hour.
“I mean, I’m guessing you felt the same way, but I wasn’t exactly happy about it when my dad broke the news. No offense, I didn’t even know about you at that point. But it’s like, in this day and age, we’re supposed to marry a total stranger?”
“The things we do for family,” I say with a sheepish smile.
“Exactly, that’s exactly right.” He takes a long drink. “But you know what? It’s going to be alright. We’re going to get along, right? I mean, I guess we sort of have to.”
“We could always get divorced in a few years,” I offer like I’m kidding, even though the idea had occurred to me more than once.
He snorts and shakes his head. “Yeah, fucking right. My parents would cut off my nose before they let me get divorced. We’re Irish Catholic, and not the progressive modern types. There’s no such thing asdivorce.”
I don’t bother to tell him that his opinion isn’t the only one that matters, but I decide to bite my tongue instead. Because he’s right, that’s a crazy idea and would have all kinds of knock-on effects, most of them really bad.
“I could always fake my own death. Or maybe run away from home one night. Or heck, we could run away togetherandfake our deaths.”
“I like it. Stage a car crash off a cliff.” He mimes an explosion. “It’d be easy.”
“Where would you go if you had to hide out somewhere?”
“North, probably. Maine or up in Canada. What about you?”
“West to California. If I’m going into hiding, you better believe I’m doing it somewhere with good weather.”
“Too bad we’re stuck with each other.” He grins at me with all his boyish charm, and I feel absolutely nothing.
Finn’s nice enough. He can be funny when he tries, even though he’s a little self-absorbed and doesn’t seem all that interested in me.
But there’s absolutely zero spark between us. I had hoped for something, maybe a little glimmer, a slight attraction, anythingto build a foundation. A shared sense of humor. A love for the same music. Anything at all.
Nothing’s there.
He’s not even that bad, which almost makes it worse. I don’t hate him, I’m just bored, and we’re not clicking. I’m trying to find some common ground, but we’re both treading through quicksand. The second it feels like we’re coming together, I’m sucked straight back down.
I’ve had boyfriends in the past. Not many of them, but I know what it feels like. I don’t expect a head-over-heels falling, that’s for sure, but there’s always been some magic bit of chemistry. The more I talk with Finn, the more I think he’s decent and that we’ll never, ever be anything more than friends.
Which is horrifying. I almost wish I could hate him. At least then we could live separate lives and interact as little as possible.
Instead, Finn is just blah.
Good blah. But still,blah.
The more he talks, the more I think about a future with him. One where I’m constantly avoiding my husband while also trying not to hurt his feelings. He’ll treat me well. I’m relatively sure of that. Which is a relief. Except he’s going to fill the void in our relationship with a never-ending string of mistresses, and what’ll I get? A charity and a business?
God forbid a woman takes on a lover.
