Page 42 of All Tied Up
She shook her head, and her shoulders drooped when she wrapped her arms around herself in a dejected way. “I don’t understand you, Ransom.” Her words were barely above a whisper.
Yeah, she did. What she didn’t understand were the reasons behind my actions. That was the fucking family controlling me.
“I handled some things wrong. I was rash, and because of that, I’ve had orders placed on me,” I told her.
I wasn’t supposed to tell her anything, but I no longer gave a shit. They were making me hurt her over and over, and I couldn’t do that anymore. I wanted my girl smiling, happy. I wanted her to light up at the sight of me, the way my chest soared when I saw her. I didn’t like the tears. I fucking hated the tears. They were worse than any torture the family might choose to punishme with.
She turned, and her head tilted back as she stared up at me. “What orders?” she asked, concern taking the place of pain.
Closing the space between us, I slid a hand over her hip and rested it there. Needing to touch her to ease some of the savagery that had taken over me since I’d gotten the call from Wayne.
“Family orders, Shakespeare. Ones handed down from the boss. The man who holds the power to decide if I live or die. That is the only reason I obeyed. But now,” I said with a shake of my head, “I don’t care about that. Not if this is hurting you so much that you went out with another man. Fuck, Shakespeare, I can’t even look at other women and feel anything. I don’t want them. I don’t acknowledge them. Just you. It’s just you.”
The softening of her expression didn’t ease the look in her eyes. Instead, they appeared more alarmed than anything else. “Live or die?” she asked.
I nodded and reached up to brush the pad of my thumb over her bottom lip. “It’s the life. You obey the boss.”
“No, wait.” She stepped away from my touch, shaking her head. “Are you telling me that your being here is going to get you … get you killed?” The franticness in her tone was cute.
“I hope not,” I replied. “Doesn’t matter. I’m here, and it’s the only place I want to be.”
She held up a hand, her eyes wide as she shook her head. “Noooo, it does matter. You can’t just … you can’t d-die. I can’t—I don’t—” She let out a breath and blinked as another tear rolled down her face. “I can’t live in a world you’re not in, Ransom. If that means you can’t be with me or even contact me, then go. Please, if you feel anything for me, you will go,” she said, pointing to the door.
I probably should have softened that truth up for her. She wasn’t ready to hear all that my life entailed yet. It would take time to slowly ease her into it. If I had that time. I fucking hope Idid. I wanted a lifetime with this woman.
“That was worst case,” I told her. “I doubt that I’ll meet my end for tonight. I didn’t tell you that to upset you, Shakespeare. I told you so you’d understand that my silence doesn’t mean what you think. And the necklace,” I smirked with a shake of my head. “You wrote the damn book, baby. How did you not understand the meaning behind it?”
She stilled, and I could see her mind working. As it began to sink in—what that necklace had meant—the slight O of her lips made me want to grab her and slam my mouth down on hers. But fucking her like an animal against the nearest hard surface wasn’t what she needed … yet.
“You … did you read all my books?” she asked hesitantly.
I nodded. “I couldn’t hear your voice, so I read your words. Several times, in fact.”
She blew out a breath as her eyes began to fill up with tears. “Oh,” she whispered. “Oh.”
I waited for her to say more and had to literally grit my teeth as I fought the urge to go take her in my arms.
“So, the books,” she said as her eyes scanned my face.
I nodded. “Yeah.”
Lifting both hands, she wiped at her cheeks as a small laugh bubbled out of her. “It was you. I thought—I didn’t know what to think. Those are … they’re rare. I know because I did research on them when writing the book.”
I nodded. They were fucking rare and not cheap to secure. But I loved seeing them on the camera when I checked her apartment. Sitting there on her shelf, displayed. She was proud of them.
Her hand went to her bare neck, where the necklace I had given her would have looked stunning. But I assumed it was still shoved in the back of that drawer she’d put it in.
“The necklace, it was … it was because …” Her brows drew together as she studied me.
“Because it was his promise of forever, a symbol of his love, and he didn’t want her wearing that on her finger. He wanted it near her heart to remind her she owned his,” I finished for her. The shit was that romantic bullshit women loved and what had made her millions. But I liked the idea of it.
“Forever?” she asked, hope finally shining in her pretty eyes.
I nodded. However long that might be for me. But I didn’t say that. It would put a damper on things, and I wanted her happy tonight. I had making up to do.
When she said nothing more but wiped at more tears, I closed the space she’d put between us.
She had to tilt her head back further to look at me when I pulled her against me.
