Page 121 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 8
Then I’d be free. And Ash and I could have a baby together and live happily ever after. It was the perfect plan.
I started whistling again as I approved 20 more donors. Hopefully we could do a huge sperm cocktail of sorts. Just get it all in there at once. A few at once just wouldn’t do. I was thinking we could do at least 10 samples at once. We’d find her lesser true love in no time.
Too Much Sausage - Chapter 26 – Incident #9
Tuesday – October 17, 2023
Ash
A nurse was helping me look through the files. But I wished Chastity was back here. She was much more decisive than I was.
We’d been at it for more than an hour.
The nurse pulled up another file on the screen. I could either say yes or no. It was like Tinder, but for sperm. Although I guess in a way Tinder was also kind of for sperm...
I kept looking through the options.
Each one listed eye color, hair color, hair texture, skin tone, height, weight, blood type, ancestry, education, and hobbies. And there was a picture of each guy’s celebrity lookalike.
I thought they’d be easy to eliminate, but they all seemed like great baby daddies. And so many of them looked like Chris Hemsworth. My baby was gonna grow up to be a total hottie.
“This is so overwhelming,” I said. “How can I even choose?”
The nurse smiled. “A lot of people just go off a gut feeling.”
Well, my gut wasn’t weighing in right now. I kept going through them. They were all so impressive. One was a 6’4 Silicon Valley programmer that looked like Gerard Butler. Another was a nuclear physicist with three doctorate degrees. And then there was a song writer for the stars.
How was I supposed to decide if I wanted my baby to be a hunky genius or a creative prodigy? Which one would be most like Tanner? I pressed my lips together.Gah, I really wish I could just have Tanner’s baby...
I’d do anything to hold a little him in my arms. But I didn’t have time. I was ovulating any minute now, damn it!
“What if I can’t choose?” I asked. “Do I have to narrow it down?”
“You do. But not entirely. One thing a lot of couples are doing these days is the sperm cocktail approach. You choose three and let the strongest sperm win.”
“Oooh. Good idea. That way no one knows who the father is either. Like how firing squad executions use three guns with two blanks so no one know who actually killed the dude.”
“Uh...I guess?” She looked very disturbed.
Was it something I’d said? “I feel like we need some sort of tie breaker. Like do you have data about penis sizes? That seems like an important omission.” Oh my God, what did I just ask? I felt my cheeks turning red. I’d been hanging out with Chastity too much.
The nurse was nice about it though. She just laughed. “It is an important question. It should totally be on there. You don’t want your baby to have a weird small penis.”
“Exactly!”
“You can actually get answers to that in phase two of the process. Speaking of which…shall we move on? We’ve been choosing for nearly two hours.”
Time flies when you’re choosing a baby daddy.“Yeah, okay. Let’s move on.”
“Just go down that hallway to the third door on your right and you can see who your partner chose.”
Awesome. I went down the hall to the third door on the right. Or had she said fourth?Yeah. Fourth.That was it. And it was labeled SPERM DONATIONS so it had to be right. I expected it to be another doctor’s office, but instead I was in a small room with some chairs around the side. And there were three black guys sitting there in hospital gowns. They were all total hunks. One of them even looked a lot like Orlando Jackson, but with slightly less veiny muscles.
These guys must have been the sperm donors that Tanner chose. I was surprised that he wanted to have a black baby. People would know it wasn’t his. Was that the point? Was he going to be a negligent father or something? Oh. Or maybe he was trying to prove that old people aren’t racist? Him helping to raise a black baby would certainly prove that. Although it seemed a bit extreme.
I awkwardly stared at them. What exactly was I supposed to do here?
Oh.
