Tanner made a face.
“What? Am I infected? I tried my best not to touch him!” I looked down at my hands.
“Um...no?” he said.
Chastity laughed. “Girl, what the hell was that? If you were going for playing hard to get, you went way too hard.”
“I wasn’t playing hard to get! I don’t want to be gotten at all! Was it contagious?! Is it on me?!”
“About that...” Tanner’s voice trailed off. “He doesn’t actually have a skin condition.”
“WHAT?!”
“Yeah, funny story. In my haste to vet him, I mixed up his file with someone who actually does have a rare skin condition.”
“Dude, what the hell?! Now everyone thinks I’m racist!”
Tanner shook his head. “Yeah, that was pretty bad. I haven’t heard language like that since the 1860s.”
I groaned. “You’re supposed to tell me everyone understood that I was talking about his skin condition that doesn’t exist.”
Chastity cleared her throat. “Literally no one got that. Do you have any idea what you just said?”
“Pieces of it! God!” I turned to Tanner. “Did you do that on purpose? So that everyone thinksI’mthe more racist one in this couple?” He was trying to take the heat off his old ass.
“I have no idea what you mean by that,” he said. “But people may think that now I presume.”
Gah!“Is everyone really going to be saying I’m a racist now? How can I fix this?!”
“It’s fine,” said Tanner. “A few nearby tables might have a laugh about it, but after a passionate night of lovemaking, your horribly racist comments will be but a distant memory to them.”
***
GINGER SUPREMICIST MEGATHREAD.
I stared down at Chastity’s phone in horror. The first thing at the top of the thread was a gif of me near Desmond looking terrified and screaming.How did someone get this picture?! How is this happening?!
I started scrolling. There were over 500 comments and more coming in every second. And tons of gifs. It seemed like everyone’s favorite thing to do was add captions to a gif of me handing Desmond the jungle key.
“Your skin is diseased.”
“It’s a scientific fact.”
“Gingers are the superior race.”
What the hell?! I never said that last one! I looked up at Chastity. “Where did you find this?!”
“It’s on the Society app message boards.”
“I thought Tanner said everyone would forget about it!” I pulled the app up on my phone.
“That seems very unlikely. If anything, it’s all anyone wants to talk about.”
“Why aren’t you more upset about this? I can never go back! And once people realize you’re my friend, you’ll be banned too.”
Chastity waved her hand through the air, dismissing my concerns. “It’s fine. You just have to fix your image.”
“How?”