Page 162 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 8
I wanted to collapse next to him in despair. I looked up at Tanner. “Am I going to get cancelled for this mummy outfit? I just got out of my little brush with ginger supremacy. I don’t want to have to fuck a mummy! I mean kiss. Who would fuck someone just to convince them that they weren’t a ginger supremacist? That would be awfully extreme.”Oh God I’m so sweaty.
Tanner laughed. “No one is getting cancelled tonight. And no one is gonna have to fuck a mummy. Unless they’re your lesser true love. In that case, I would very much appreciate you fucking them so I can get free.”
“Aye-aye, Captain.” I gave him a salute and my boob popped out.
Tanner raised his eyebrow at me. “You may want to add a few extra pins to that. The only people at this party are gonna be my friends and children, so I don’t think you’ll need to be fucking anyone.”
Nigel leapt off the couch. “I will make sure she doesn’t expose herself!” He ran over with a safety pin.
“Oh, now you decide to be helpful?” I asked.
“Have I ever not been helpful?”
“Yes! You still haven’t fixed that shower.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it.”
“Yes there is,” I said. Not everything could be exclusively a bath!
“No there isn’t.”
“Yes there is.”
Nigel sighed. “Fine. I’ll put it in my calendar.Again.” He pulled a huge planner out of thin air and flipped through. “Let’s see…” He kept flipping. And flipping. “Okay, I should have time to fix it on Monday.”
“Thank you. Now let’s get to this party.”I need my pregnancy confirmation from Rob!And hopefully I wouldn’t get cancelled again. Because Nigel had really gotten in my head. He’d lived through most of the things he was worried about appropriating. So if he was worried, I was doubly worried. But people should be allowed to wear pants without the world falling apart. I’d certainly feel more comfortable right now if I had a nice pair of slacks under my mummy costume so I wouldn’t accidentally moon anyone.
***
The Caldwell mansion was haunting, with its gray stone exterior and gryphon statues. But there was something about the way the grand entrance was decorated as a golden sphinx for the party that made it more inviting.
“Normally they go very spooky,” said Tanner as he grabbed my hand to help me out of the car. “But kids were invited to attend this year. So it’s probably a little tamer.”
“I can’t believe I’m about to go into Matt’s childhood home,” I said.
“If you would like a tour of Master Matthew’s bedroom, I can arrange it,” said Nigel.
Tanner shook his head at the both of us.
I gasped as we made our way into the grand foyer. It was decorated to look like we’d stepped into a tomb. There were spiderwebs, hieroglyphs, sarcophaguses, and gold in every direction. And the marble floor could barely be seen with the sand that had been dumped on top of it.
“This way,” said Tanner and guided me down a hall that was filled with sand too and somehow had a miniature Nile running down it.
This hallway wasn’t scary. But the sarcophaguses in the entranceway seemed a bit terrifying for children. When we stepped into the ballroom though, it was like we were transported to ancient Egypt. Almost like stepping foot into a memory. Like I’d done with Tanner’s past.
There were palm trees and women with fanning fronds dancing. Huge pillars supported all sorts of golden relics. There was a band decked out in pharaoh crowns in the corner. And the waitresses were in white linen dresses and gold sandals, walking around with trays. The only thing that wasn’t authentic was a pumpkin patch in the corner for kids to play in. There were cats with gold fur roaming about.
It was all very extra. And oh so fabulous.
Jacob ran over to us. He was all dressed up in gold like the sarcophagus of King Tut, the boy king. And he looked so adorable.
Tanner leaned down. “Hello, Grandson.”
“I’m not your grandson. I’m King Tut! The boy king. And this is my daddy, Akhenaten. And my mommy, the Younger Lady.”
Matt and Brooklyn had walked over dressed as mummies.
“And this is my half-sister, Ankhesenamun.” Jacob pointed to the cute little Egyptian queen in Brooklyn’s arms.
