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“Please, can we just have a minute alone?”

Nigel nodded and sunk back against the wall.

Ash turned back to me, for some reason believing Nigel was gone again. “But can we set up a camera or something? For the masturbatorium?”

“I think I have the perfect thing,” said Nigel.

Ash jumped. “Why are you still listening?”

“Because I like listening. We’ve established this.”

I so badly wanted to tell both of them that soon my masturbatorium wouldn’t be necessary at all. But I still didn’t dare say any of my plan out loud. I knew Ghazi was magically eavesdropping on every word I said. And Ghazi would obviously be displeased if he found out that I was plotting to destroy the genie council.

Nigel had been my right-hand man through thick and thin. But I had to keep this plan to myself. He’d thank me once we were both free.

Ash stared at Nigel as he pressed his body against the wallpaper. “Wow, he’s really good at that.” She turned back to me. “Can you teleport me to Chastity’s so I can get ready for girls’ night?”

I nodded. I had to get ready too. I leaned forward and placed a kiss against her lips. “Have fun tonight.” I snapped my fingers and Ash disappeared. I turned to Nigel. “Was there actually a repair man here?”

He peeled himself off the wall. “Yes.” He pulled out his phone and showed me the video feed. There was indeed footage of the plumber coming and then leaving half an hour later. But there was no footage of the bathroom. Very, very interesting. I smiled. I don’t know why, but I still didn’t believe her. I laughed out loud.

“What’s so funny?” asked Nigel.

“Nothing. I need to get ready.” I snapped my fingers to change my appearance to how I’d looked in the 80s.

Nigel’s eyes grew round. “Holy mustachio. I forgot how big your mustache used to be.”

I went to the closest mirror and adjusted my mustache.Perfect.

I got a text from Chastity. It was a picture of Ash in a skintight white dress. And the accompanying text read: “After tonight, lotsof other men at the Society will know what it feels like to cum inside of your girl.”

Fuck me.She looked so freaking hot.

But no one would be fucking her tonight. Because I was gonna be there.

This was phase 1 of my plan.

The genie council had given me everything I needed when they equipped DODO with magical zappers that could give out extra genie curses.

I needed to get my hands on one. Which meant I needed DODO to find me and come to me. And the only way to do that was to set a trap. So I bought NY United. And I was holding a press conference to introduce their latest player.Me.

And to make sure they’d come, I’d switched my look back to how I’d looked when I’d played for Fiorentina. My name back then had been Bjorn Johansen. In the 80s as Bjorn I had long wavy hair pulled back in a headband and an awesome mustache. I pulled my new headband into place across my forehead. Yeah, I looked exactly the same.Come get me, DODO. I’ll be waiting.

“Master, you look just like...”

“Hush,” I said. “I know.”

Nigel looked very confused. And a little worried.

But there was no need. This was the perfect plan. I whistled as I made my way out of the apartment and to the Society. The Society was throwing a NY United themed party tonight to celebrate their new signing.

I got a phone call on the way over to the Society. I looked down and saw Matt’s name across my screen. I hit the accept call button. “Hey, what’s up?”

“What’s up?” asked Matt. “What do you mean what’s up? Did you just buy NY United?”

“Yes.”

“Did you not think it was important to talk about this huge financial decision with me before you did this?”