Page 304 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 8
Tanner laughed.
“Also, it was so weird how she always fell asleep at hangouts. So I started to suspect maybe she wasn’t really asleep and she was just spying on me and Chastity trying to figure out your secret.”
Tanner slowly nodded. “Interesting… We might be able to use that to our advantage.”
“How?”
“Because Joe is the one who stole Santa’s magic.”
“WHAT?!”
“Asshole,” Rosalie said.
“Yup,” said Tanner. “Over the last couple months Marty has been looking into every instance of a mall Santa not showing up for work last holiday season. Which was difficult, because apparently most mall Santa’s are alcoholics and frequently miss work. Anyway, he finally found the mall that happened to be hosting the REAL Santa. It took him a while to check all the footage from the surrounding streets, but eventually he found footage of Joe nabbing Santa and tossing him into a white van.”
“But how did Joe find the real Santa? Or know he was magical?”
“I asked Santa that same thing when we were being held hostage together. Apparently he’d asked his captor that same question, and the captor said that his ex-wife got drunk one night and told him about a wild Christmas Eve she and her friends had had with a magical, hot Santa.”
“Me?”What?
“Oh,” said Rosalie. “That must have been the Christmas you and Chastity went on a girls’ trip with her daddy.”
“I definitely don’t remember that,” I said. “And I remember most of my time with Daddy.” I shook my head. “I mean Chastity’s daddy. Gah, that’s so confusing. But okay. That’s possible. I’m missing a lot of time in my head from my freshman year.” I was starting to think I’d somehow blacked out during most of it.
A horn honking made us turn our heads.
Rob was driving up on a forklift with a pallet on the front. The pallet tipped to the side and thousands of vanilla pudding cups spilled out onto the floor.
“Oops,” said Rob. “Don’t tell James I did that. But…pudding! The key ingredient to any proper prank.” He hopped off the forklift, grabbed a pudding cup off the ground, and ate a big spoonful. “I’ve been stockpiling it for my next epic prank. And I have to keep it here because Daphne won’t let me have more than 13 ounces of pudding in the house at one time.”
“And what are we gonna do with the pudding?” I asked.
He smiled. “I thought you’d never ask.”
I stared at him.
But he didn’t go into any more details.
“Well?” I asked.
“So you know how I asked if the skeet on my desk was pudding?”
“Yes….”
“Well, what if we install an exploding pack of pudding into his bride’s dress. And make it explode up onto her face JUST before she walks down the aisle. So it’ll look like she took a massive cumshot from one of the ushers. Imagine the look on Cupcake’s face when he sees that.”
I laughed. “That would be pretty epic. Especially because they’re livestreaming the whole event. Rumor has it that they’re on a shortlist for getting their own reality show.”
Tanner nodded. “I like where you’re going with this. But I think we can do even better.”
“How?” asked Rob.
Tanner pulled a flash drive out of his pocket. “We happen to have footage of Joe cheating on Sierra. And I know just how to use it. If we can pull this off, it’s going to the prank to end all pranks.”
Rob looked so excited.
And I was too. I couldn’t wait to fuck up Joe’s stupid wedding.
