Page 402 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 8
“Okay, I’m officially lost,” said Ash. “What is the Strippocratic Oath?”
“A sacred oath that all strippers have taken since the days of ancient Greece. Let me see if I can remember it…” I cleared my throat and recited:
“I swear by Dionysus, god of theater, entertainment, and festivity, and Priapus, god of the phallus, and with all the gods as my witness, that I shall uphold the following oath.
“First and foremost, I shall pleasure my patrons indiscriminately to my own enjoyment.
“I shall keep myself free of disease.
“I shall keep my patron’s identities confidential, and I shall not recognize them outside of my place of work.
“I shall keep my body in peak physical condition.
“And finally, I shall use the tools and techniques of my trade to postpone my climax until my performance requires it.
“If I keep this oath, may I find eternal admiration and forever please my woman.
“And if I break this oath, may my manhood be forever giant and flaccid.”
“Giant?” asked Ash. “That kind of feels like a reward for them to break the oath.”
“Not for the Greeks. They appreciated the aesthetics of a tiny flaccid penis and the functionality of a monster erection. In other words…ancient Greeks loved growers. But what’s really important is that line about disease. See? You have nothing to worry about.”
“If that was a real oath, then maybe you’d be right. But I’m 99% sure you just made all of that up. Which was actually really impressive. Seriously…how’d you come up with all that on the spot?” Ash clumsily clapped her hands. That banana juice was hitting her hard.
“I didn’t. I was reciting a real oath.”
“It’s legit,” agreed Esme. “She got every word of it correct.”
Damn right I did.I was starting to like this Esme chick. Daddy really knew how to pick ‘em.
“I’ll tell you correct words,” said Ash.
Um…what?I held back a laugh. Seriously, was she drunk already? She’d only had a glass and a half of the good stuff.
“Esme can take my sash and go to the strip club in my place,” Ash said. “And I’ll stay back to make sure no one steals our jet. There’s more banana juice, right?” She downed her second glass and handed it to Esme. “More please.”
“You’re my maid of honor. You can’t ditch me.”
“Sure I can.”
“Then you’re uninvited to the wedding.”
“There is no wedding, so that’s fine.” Ash started on her third glass of banana juice.
Damn it!She had a good point. But luckily I knew her weakness. “How about this. You and I will play a classic bachelorette party game. Winner gets to choose if we go to Miami or if we turn around and go back to your Banana Party.”
Ash looked so excited. “And there won’t be any more surprise strippers at my Banana Party?”
I turned to Slavanka.
She shook her head. “No more strippers. I only buy them for thirty minute. I hate waste money. We waste money since we run.”
I turned back to Ash. “There you have it. No more strippers at the Banana Party. Do we have a deal?”
“I would say yes, but I forgot to bring Bananagrams. So I guess we have to turn around to go get it.”
“That is not a classic bachelorette party game.”
