Page 445 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 8
“Chastity, I get reminiscing before your wedding. But making up stories? We’re going to be late!” She tried to pull me out of the Russian lit aisle of the library.
I pulled my hand out of her grip. “I’ve told you…shmoopie poo won’t mind if I’m a little late for my big day. And I’m not making anything up.”
“Prove it.”
“Okay.” I pulled out my phone and selected a gallery from our college years. “See that 6-foot-tall banana trophy? You know…the one that was in our dorm for 4 years and then in my apartment ever since?”
“Yeah,” said Ash. “What about it?”
“Where do you think it came from?”
Ash shrugged. “I always just assumed it was some weird rich person art that I didn’t understand.”
“What? Why would you think that after the story I just told? Clearly we won it at the Banana Party.”
“You’re lying. Your story is like some weird fantasy where banana juice is alcohol and it turns me into a wild slut.”
I laughed. “Uhh…that’s exactly what banana juice is. And let me tell you, it really hits you hard. I’ve actually documented the stages that you go through while getting drunk on banana juice. After one glass you let loose a little. But you’re still terrified of germs.”
“Well that makes sense. Germs are terrifying.”
“On your second glass, you get even more paranoid than usual. Like when we were getting arrested. You made it such a big thing.”
“Right. Because we were getting ARRESTED.”
“After three glasses you just love everything. And that’s the point of no return. The second you tell me you love me, I know you’re gonna get totally shitfaced. Glass four makes you just go nuts, but you still get embarrassed after the fact. Like when you sucked off that vampire stripper. And by the time you’re five glasses in, you become the ultimate single girl.”
“Which means…?”
“You’re down for anything. Especially if it involves big cocks.”
“Nope.” She shook her head. “I refuse to believe that. You have no proof. I’d never even touched a cock before I met Joe.”
I laughed.
“It’s not funny! I’m serious!”
“You touched so many cocks before Joe’s,” I said.
“Lies!”
“Youreallywant me to prove it?”
“Yes.”
“Okay…” I navigated to the drive on my phone and put in a series of three passwords. Then I scanned my fingerprint. The Banana Party video popped up. “You asked me to never show you this footage again. But you’ve left me with no other choice.” I fast-forwarded to the Banana Race and handed it to Ash.
Her eyes got bigger and bigger with each passing second. “That’s…that’s not me.”
“Keep watching.”
She let out a little yelp as the camera zoomed in on me jerking the Banana Bro off all over her face. There was no doubt that it was her.
“No! Make it go away!” She started mashing buttons on my phone until it went back to my home screen.
“Believe me now?” I asked.
She nodded, but she looked completely shook. “So let me get this right. Banana juice is actually alcohol?”
