Page 462 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 8
“Is that really a thing that happens?” asked Ash.
“Uh, of course it is. Most of the confirmed sightings onThe Towel Dropare from girls who got invited back into the locker room to be the post-game entertainment.”
Ash’s eyes got huge. “And by post-game entertainment, you mean…a gangbang?”
“Oh my God, Ash! You’re so naughty. Of course they don’t get gangbanged. They usually just blow the MVP of the game. But it’s not unheard of for a few other guys to join in if they have really big cocks. So yeah, I guess sometimes it’s a gangbang.”
“Please tell me you’re not going to leave us alone with Chad and his friends. Scooter keeps telling me about his workout routine and I don’t know how to tell him to stop.”
“Of course I’m not going to leave you alone! I’m thinking that Single Girl Rule #3 is actually: Never let a friend go into alocker roomalone. So you and Slavanka can definitely come with me. Together we can try to tame the three headed monster. Which one do you want? I’ve got my eye on Adonis, but the other two definitely look interesting. Maybe we should all just take turns with each of them?”
Ash started breathing really fast. “Tame a monster? Why would you think I’m into monster erotica? Did you see something on my phone? Not that there’s anything to see. Okay! Fine! I admit it. I read an article about a big-foot sex book being really popular so I downloaded a sample. But it was weird. There was so much foot stuff. And his feet were so big.” She fanned her armpits.
Is she nervous or turned on?“Whoa, relax. We’re not gonna bang a literal monster. It’s the three headed monster.”
“I’m so confused.”
“The three headed monster! They’re literally all anyone can talk about onThe Towel Drop.” How has no one heard about this but me?
“The towel what?” asked Ash.
“Hold everything. You’ve never heard ofThe Towel Drop?”
Ash shook her head.
“Wow. Seriously?” Then it hit me. “I guess you preferThe Daily Bulge?”
“You meanThe Daily Bugle?Like in Spiderman?”
I laughed. But it didn’t seem like she was joking. Which meant she was majorly missing out on some delicious man candy. “Okay, wow. You have a lot of catching up to do. But luckily I’m here to bring you up to speed on all the hot goss about the three headed monster.” I looked down at the field. Harvard’s offense was driving. “The first part of the three headed monster is Shaka Hung, the running back. Known colloquially as Master Hung due to his patient, almost meditative running style.” Right on cue, he took a handoff and came to nearly a complete stop behind the offensive line. A linebacker broke through and tried to tackle him, but Master Hung effortlessly stepped aside and the would-be tackler came up empty. Then a hole opened up and Hung absolutelyexplodedinto it. He juked out two more defenders before someone finally latched onto him. But theystillcouldn’t take him down. He must have had ridiculous balance,because it took three defenders literally riding on his back to bring him down.
“HUNNNNG!” chanted the crowd.
“He’s actually pretty impressive,” said Ash.
I squinted to try to get a better look. “You can see his bulge from here? I guess he’s your pick, then?”
“I was talking about the run! And just because I read half of one weird book, it doesn’t mean I’m a sex freak. I’m a good girl. So no gangbangs for me.”
So now we’re pretending like last night never happened? And when did a sample become half the book? Interesting…“Technically it will be an orgy if three of us are with three guys.”
Ash looked around and then shushed me. “Can you be a little quieter? I think people are starting to stare. And anyway…you’re here with your fiancé!”
“Correction…boyfriend. And what’s your point? Single Girl Rule #8 is still in effect. And according toThe Towel Drop’spatented bulge analysis technology, Master Hung is at least 8 inches.”
“No, no,” said Slavanka. “Asian penis small.”
“I thought that was just a myth,” said Ash.
“Not according to science. One study I saw found that the average guy from Congo is 7.1 inches. While the average in Chinais only 4.2 inches. Honestly, both of those are a little sad. But at least 7.1 inches is a better starting point.”
“So Master Hung has a little baby penis then?” asked Ash. “I thinkThe Towel Dropmay need to recalibrate their bulge analyzer.”
“Nope. He’s half black and half Asian. Could you really not tell that from his last run? The man has the focus of a Buddhist monk combined with the sheer physical dominance of a Zulu warlord.”
“Wow, yeah. I don’t know how I missed that,” said Ash. “Seriously though…this is all made up, right? There can’t really be a website calledThe Towel Dropthat’s all about football players’ dicks.”
Where did sassy Ash come from all of a sudden?Maybe she was getting dehydrated from sweating so much thinking about what these big strong football players were gonna do to us.
