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“Uh…” Chloe looked away like she was guilty of something awful. “So you know that journal you wrote in every night in high school?”

“Which one?” Autumn gasped. “Oh God. Please tell me you didn’t read the blue one.”

Chloe cringed. “I’m afraid so.”

“Oh fuck.” Autumn looked like she wanted to disappear.

“Youreallywanted to get railed by a twelve-inch cock at prom, huh?”

“I don’t think I can ever look at you again.”

“Girl, we all just watched you get railed by a stripper. And you’re embarrassed about some journal?”

“Well now I’m embarrassed about all of it!”

“You shouldn’t be. We all have fantasies. Fuck Noah and his stupid cheating ass. After the wedding, let’s find you a beautiful foot-long dick so you can live out all your wildest fantasies. And I can live vicariously through you.”

“Live vicariously through me?” asked Autumn. “I’m the one who needs to live vicariously through you. I know Harrison made you promise not to tell anyone about what you two do in the bedroom, but I’ve seen the way he stares at you. Your honeymoon is going to be WILD.”

“Ow ow!” yelled the overly enthusiastic bridesmaid.

Chloe didn’t look excited though. “I wish.”

“What do you mean you wish? Wait, is Harrison not a freak? I’ve been completely convinced that the locked room in his house is a playroom and he’s a total dom. Like with leather and whips and stuff.”

Yes! Get it, girl!I loved that for future me.

“He’s like the opposite of a dom.”

“He’s your sub?” asked Autumn. “Wow. Plot twist. Although now that you mention it, I can kinda picture him liking to be spanked…”

Chloe laughed. “No. He’s not my sub. We don’t do any BDSM. Or anything kinky at all, really.”

No!NowI hated that for future me.

“But he’s so controlling. Like how he makes you dress so conservatively. Wait, are you telling me that you don’t wear leather harnesses and lingerie under all that?”

“Hell no,” said Chloe. “He just doesn’t want me to get hit on by random dudes. I still can’t believe he bought me this.” She gestured down to her very low-cut bride-to-be monokini.

I pressed my lips together. Yeah, her husband definitely wouldn’t approve of the sexy monokini I’d gotten her. Oopsies. But also… #SorryNotSorry.

“It’s okay,” said Bandit, patting her shoulder. He’d just gotten back from the shower and had a towel wrapped around his waist. But it didn’t stay there long. “Grab the feelings dick and let itall out,” he said, tearing his towel away. His still-raging erection sprung up and hit Chloe in the shoulder. If I did say so myself, my boner darts were freaking amazing.

Chloe sighed and started stroking him. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said. “Harrison is amazing and I’m so excited to marry him. But I do kind of hate how he makes me dress. And the sex is so vanilla. I mean…it’s been years since I’ve gotten anything except missionary.”

“So?” asked Sloane. “That’s what you hire the help for. My mother used to fuck our pool boy all the time.”

I loved that for future Slavanka’s mom!

“I can’t do that,” said Chloe. “As much as I love wild sex, once I walk down that aisle, I’m going to be loyal to my man.” She sounded so sad about it.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. I was devastated for her.

“You look like you have something on your heart,” said Bandit. “Do you need the feelings dick?”

“Yes please.” I motioned him over. But as he was on his way over…

“Excuse me,” said Ash, raising her hand. “I need that for a moment.”