Page 77 of Forbidden Billionaires: Vol. 8
He pointed up to the Ferris wheel. “She should be off the ride soon. Wait! There she is!”
The Ferris wheel was spinning and a cart had just dropped to the bottom with a girl completely naked riding the oldest Ababio brother I’d met the other day. The girl turned to Ocelot and blew him a kiss. Then she moved her hands about a foot apart as the cart went back up in the air.
What the hell is happening right now?
“And it looks like you found some impressive new members,” said Ocelot. “Well done. We always need fresh meat. I’m so in love with you right now.”
Huh?“You do realize that your girlfriend is currently getting railed by that dude, right?”
“Of course.” Ocelot pointed over to the giant circular swing set going round and round.
It was set up for couples to have some fun. You were supposed to try to toss your boyfriend your key. And then you’d go to a private room to bang.
“He caught her keys when she tried to toss them to me on the swinger ride.” He shrugged. “Whoever catches your key gets you. And I’m fast, but I’m not a great catcher.”
I didn’t realize that single people were going to be key-snatching. And for some reason all I could think about was a catcher in the sense of someone getting fucked hard from behind. Which Ocelot didn’t? Because he was straight? This man was too confusing. Fortunately the ride ended and I was able to pull Tanner into an empty cart to escape.
“Blowjobs are encouraged,” the guy manning the Ferris wheel said as he closed the metal gated door behind us.
I felt my cheeks flush. I cleared my throat as the ride started to move. “Seriously, what is up with that Ocelot guy? Because I definitely thought he was gay.”
“Pink Ocelot and his girlfriend are swingers.”
“Oh.” Ooooh. I craned my neck to see the giant circular swing set. It made sense that swinging couples would gravitate to that. The title pretty much called to them. I heard moaning and looked down at the cart beneath ours. I could just make out a guy with his fingers buried in a girl’s hair before they disappeared from view again. I crossed my legs and turned to Tanner.
“What other romantic rides did you have Nigel set up?” he asked and looked out the side of the cart at the amazing view of the whole carnival. “Wasn’t this whole idea inspired by a rollercoaster? Where’s that?”
“Eh. We went back and forth a lot. But we couldn’t figure out a way to make it sexy. Nigel was hellbent on damsel in distressing women. And it all felt very dangerous.”
“Damsel in distressing?” He raised his eyebrow.
“He just wanted to tie girls on the tracks and have them almost get runover. Guys were supposed to swoop in and be their knights in shining armor. But it all seemed like it could go terribly wrong. Too many squished livers left on the tracks if you ask me.”
Tanner laughed.
“The kissing booth on the other hand…that was quite easy to make sexy.” I pointed down to it. Instead of a kissing booth, it was actually a blowjob booth. It was being run by Isadora and Giovanna, the soapy shower lesbians. They were rather enthusiastically blowing every dude who walked up to the booth.Huh. Definitely not lesbians then.They were blowing each guy for 30 seconds. There was big timer behind them.
“Do you really think this carnival is going to help people find true love?” asked Tanner.
“Of course.”
“How?” He seemed even more confused about all the booths than before. Which was surprising. Because I’d literally just shown him the blowjob booth.
“Isn’t it obvious? Nigel and I planned the perfect event. Look around.”
“Uh...I mean, that guy definitely doesn’t look like he’s finding love.” He pointed to a guy running away from the Whack-a-Dick station. “Wait. Whack-a-dick? Dear lord, why?”
Hm.Now that I saw it in person, I could see why it would be scary. “But hey, that other guy looks like he really likes it…” my voice trailed off when the guy started crying in pain as a girl hit him in the nuts with a rubber mallet. Okay, yeah, fair. That was a terrible idea. The guy ran away screaming.
“And I don't know what’s going on at Ball Sack Darts,” added Tanner, “but the ambulance next to it tells me that was a bad idea.”
Oh no!I put my hand over my mouth. I think something must have gotten lost via fax on that one. The booth was currently shut down, and I cringed at the thought of a destroyed ball sack hanging out in that ambulance. I honestly didn’t even remember what that was supposed to be.
“And what’s going on at the Zipper?” Tanner pointed to one of my favorite rides.
There were people barfing in trashcans right next to it. I cringed. The ride itself was fun. But now that I thought about it...people had barfed a lot after riding it in high school.
“Maybe it shouldn’t have been so close to the cheesesteak stand?” asked Tanner. “Was there something weird in the cheese or something?”
