Page 17 of Retrograde
He shrugged nonchalantly. ‘It’s just a hangover, Luce. I’m fine.’
‘You’re not fine, Brett. You aresofar from fine. Do you not see it?’
‘Lucie.’ He attempted to silence her.
‘Brett.’ She was firm, staring him down and ensuring he knew just how serious her tone was.
‘Lucie…’ Brett trailed off upon realising this had the potential to be a huge blowout.
‘This is not just a hangover. You know that. You know deep down that this is so much more than just a hangover, Brett. Please. You drank two bottles of JD on your own!’ She got up from the bed and stood with her arms crossed. Brett never took her seriously when she was mad, but this time was an exception. He looked guiltier than she’d ever seen him. But the guilt didn’t mean he was going to admit to having a problem.
‘It’s not a big deal, Lucie,’ he shrugged. ‘We’re in Las Vegas. Loosen up a bit, you’re supposed to take it too farin a place like this. I mean, look out the window. What do you see? Bars, casinos and nightclubs everywhere. Was I meant to be on my best behaviour and go to bed after two beers? Set my alarm for six a.m. and go for a run? We’re on holiday, we’re away from a race weekend and we’re allowed to let our hair down and have some fun.’
‘Have you lost all sense of control? It’s not just a weekend here and there any more, it’sall the time. You just seem to no longer give a fuck about your health. Mental or physical. We make these kind of mistakes at college, when we’re younger, we don’t do this now. You’re damn lucky you have people who care about you, Anderson. If you value your career and if you value us, if you valueme, you’ll stop drinking so heavily. Get some help for whatever it is that makes you need the alcohol.’
‘Sunny. We’ve all done things we regret; we’ve all drunk too much before. It was my fault for not realising my limits last night.’ He looked at her with pleading eyes.
‘No. Don’tSunnyme. Don’t try to manipulate me into letting this go. What if you embarrass yourself publicly? Do something while intoxicated that paints you in a bad light? Hell, what if one day you drink so much that youdon’twake up?’
‘I drive fast cars for a living, Luce. My fans worship the ground I walk on. They’re not gonna go anywhere.’
‘Your fans might not, but the sponsors will. You lose them, and you lose your seat. Revolution will take a massive hit, and then Jules and Marco might lose their jobs, too. Are you really willing to risk it? You used to avoidexcessive amounts of alcohol because you don’t like not being in control, you said it made your brain fuzzy and you needed to stay sharp to be the best driver the IEC has ever seen. This is so unlike you. What changed? Am I that terrible of a friend that I didn’t notice something?’
‘You’re not a bad friend, Luce, but damn I wish you’d stop making such a fucking fuss.’ He gritted his teeth, his eyes burning with anger. ‘I liked you better when you just shut up and let me get on with my own life and you got on with yours. Except that has never been the case, really, has it? Because you just can’t leave me alone.’
If his voice hadn’t cracked as he said it, she might have thought he meant it. If she hadn’t witnessed the anger dissipate from his expression and morph into regret the second a tear rolled down her cheek, she might’ve believed every word. Lucie had never been one for heartbreak; never let anyone get that close. Her walls were always up. But Brett might just end up being the person to shatter her into a million pieces.
‘Screw you, Anderson.’
Lucie wasn’t even halfway down the corridor before Brett was chasing after her, but as tears blurred her vision and she slammed her fist against the call button for the lift, she ignored him calling out to her. If she looked back at him, she knew she would cave.
‘Sunny, wait,’ he pleaded. ‘I didn’t mean it.’
She let the door close on his guilt-ridden face and took a deep breath, half-wishing she’d heard him out andhalf-grateful to have a moment to gather her thoughts. She walked through the hotel lobby in her oversized sweatpants and slippers, bypassing the Bellagio’s upper-class clientele and for once paying zero attention to whether or not she was out of place.
The Nevada sun had disappeared behind the clouds and as she headed to the nearest coffee shop round the corner, she thought about how they never should have come on this trip. But then, if they hadn’t, Brett’s declining mental health might have gone on unnoticed.
Maybe she and Julien were being dramatic. Maybe Brett was right, it was Vegas, this was classic Las Vegas behaviour. It wasn’t like he was recreatingThe Hangover, but the change in his behaviour was scary. It was the anger towards her that had been the giveaway. Perhaps if he had been his usual cheery self, she could have overlooked it.
Lucie hadn’t even taken a sip of her iced latte before Brett was walking through the door, pulling out a chair and making himself comfortable at her table in the back corner. There was no point in stopping him and causing a scene.
‘Knew I’d find you in here.’
‘I don’t want to talk, Brett.’ Lucie sniffled then sighed.
‘Well, tough shit. You made me listen to you, now you’re going to listen to me.’
‘I don’t owe you anything. I don’t have to have this conversation if I don’t want to, regardless of your needs.’
‘Come on, Sunny. We’re a team, remember? I can’t do this without you,’ he pleaded.
‘Brett–’ She clenched her jaw, torn between letting rip again, storming out or giving in.
‘Luce, put the coffee down. Look at me.’ He gestured at her cup, which she was clutching tightly with both hands. She didn’t want to look at him, not while they werebothhurting.
‘For Christ’s sake.’ She heaved an almighty sigh, rolling her eyes at herself as she let him win the battle. She should’ve walked out of the café.
‘I’m sorry.’ Brett almost whispered it to her.
