Page 21 of Retrograde
He thought back to the mindset Julien had been in before he met Faith, that everyone wanted a piece of him to either sell to a tabloid or exploit for themselves; it had prevented Jules from letting Faith in at first, and it was more damaging than any driver realised. Trustinganyonewas a risk. Lucie had been there the day Brett discovered his ex, Sienna, had cheated on him. If you couldn’t trust the person you had chosen to spend forever with, who you had given your heart to, whocouldyou trust? Lucie had seen what that had done to Brett, how his walls firmly came back up.
Brett was as fun as he always was, but ever since Sienna, he had let that fun take over. He was known to have a woman in every city, never one to settle down, not willing to commit, and it was only since the Alps that he’d toned it down. When they had finally given in to whatever it was that was simmering between them in the Alps, Brett knew that no other woman could reach him like Lucie could. Having her in his arms and tangled up in his sheets just for one night had opened up a whole new world for him. It was like someone had flipped a switch, and suddenly all he wanted was her. But Lucie had made it clear in the months that followed, he just wasn’t enough for her.
Brett knew that he couldn’t give her everything she deserved, she needed stability and safety. Someone who had their shit together and thought about the future. He lived a life with zero responsibility off the track, and Brett didn’t know how to change that.
He caved and connected his phone to the plane’s wifi. Lucie had gone to meet the rest of the group for lunch before flying back to the UK, and he had done a runner, too embarrassed to face them after the way he’d behaved this week. Julien and Marco had texted him, but he had ignored them.
He messaged Lucie a sleepy emoji.
She replied immediately. She must be waiting to board by now.Tired, bud?
Bud?He scowled.
You don’t like that one?
Don’t ever call me that again.
Why not?
It’s insulting, he typed, wishing he could tell her the real reason he didn’t want her to call himbud.
He wanted to tell her they were more than justbuddies. He wanted to tell her that there was more to their relationship, there had been since they’d slept together. But what good would it do? She had been deflecting his advances ever since.
Okay, okay. Won’t happen again.She sent a winking face, but he wasn’t done.
Bud is what I call Mars and Jules.
Are they not also your best friends?
Yeah, but you’re, you know…He couldn’t believe hewas about to send this over text. If any of their friends looked over her shoulder, he’d never hear the end of it.
I’m what?Lucie quizzed.
You have boobs.
What?
I’m just saying that I’ve literally been inside you and we’ve crossed lines, so I can’t consider you just a friend. Anyway, this is weird.
So, I’m not allowed to call you sweetheart or bud?
You can call me sweetheart. I just told you not to the other night because when I’m drunk it does things to me. Things that you don’t want from me.
I guess from this day forward we won’t have that problem.
She skirted over what he was trying to pull out of her, but he wasn’t going to give up easily, he knew there was something here.
Oh, we’ll still have that problem, Luce.
There was a truth in that statement that Brett had never expressed while sober. There had been plenty of moments when they could have crossed the line with no alcohol in their system, could have thrown caution to the wind and explored their attraction without the haze of toxicity clouding their judgement. He just thanked the heavens she always put a stop to it before one of them regretted it.
‘I’m a bit miffed he didn’t say goodbye.’ Faith was huffing and puffing her way around the office, stocking the staffroom with teabags and pods for the new coffee machine.
‘He was just worried what you’d all think of him.’
‘Seriously? We’re all proud of him! I think it’s incredibly brave of him to do what he’s doing, to take a temporary step back from racing. He must really be going through it.’
‘I really hope he’s okay.’ Lucie trailed after her with a mug in each hand.
