Page 37 of Retrograde
‘Correct, you’re not.’ He faced the TV again, swivelling his LA baseball cap around so the brim covered his eyes and he didn’t have to look at her.
‘You don’t need to hide from me.’
Brett had been quiet since they’d returned from lunch with his family. He’d mumbled his way through painful small talk, but he’d been overly affectionate with Lucie while they cooked dinner. A kiss on the forehead, a hand on the waist. It was like he was trying to apologise for something. It wasn’t until Sienna’s name had appeared on Brett’s phone while his back was turned and Lucie had seen it that she’d worked it out.
‘I don’t want to let you down.’ He removed the cap, looking right at her.
‘This isn’t about me, Brett. This is about you doing what you need to do. I can’t stop you from doing this, all I can do is be here if you need me.’ She swallowed the lump in her throat because it wasn’t an ‘if’, it was a ‘when’.
She had no idea how long they’d been back in touch, but she feared something had happened last time he was home. It wouldn’t surprise her. Sienna always knew how to get her claws into him, and this time would be no different.
He didn’t have the capacity to handle this right now. But she couldn’t just keep him here and confiscate his phone. She had to let him go even if there was a risk of losing him again.
Lucie had so much unwarranted hatred for Sienna. Yes, the woman had betrayed Brett but he was no angel. Rather than fixing his relationship, he had let the physical distance interfere with the emotional and neglected her. But that wasn’t what bothered Lucie the most. It was the way Sienna had pulled Brett away from Lucie, too. Demanded it. Lucie understood how hard it must be for your partner to have a best friend of the opposite sex who he dideverythingwith, but Brett had pushed her away in more than a physical sense. He stopped coming to her for heart-to-hearts, put an end to their movie nights. He hadn’t even defended her when Sienna had made snide comments about her appearance, her financial status or the outfits she wore on shared nights out. But of course, because Brett was Brett and Lucie was his sunshine girl, as soon as his relationship had fallen apart, she had been there to pick up the pieces.
His ex had always felt like Lucie’s biggest competition, an obstacle in their friendship. That feeling had stayed years after they’d broken up, and right now she felt like more of a threat than ever before.
‘You should go, Brett.’ Lucie fiddled with the buttons on the TV remote. Now she was the one who couldn’t look at him.
‘Will you be all right on your own?’ He sat forward, already raring to go. That hurt her the most. The fact he seemed genuinely eager to go and see her.
‘I’ll video call the girls. Bea has a lot to catch us up on.’
‘Okay. I guess I’ll go pay her a visit then. If you’re sure?’ He hesitated, waiting for her to stop him. But she wouldn’t.
‘Yup.’ Lucie did her best to conceal her shaky voice as he reached over and squeezed her hand in appreciation.
This was why she couldn’t cross the line with him. Tonight, her gut feeling had been proven right. No matter how much Brett adored her, how much he claimed she was his favourite person and he’d be lost without her, he could never give her his heart in the way she needed him to. The way she’d given him hers in the Alps, unbeknown to him.
Who was she kidding? She’d belonged to him far longer than that. It was just that he had never belonged to her in return. Lucie had read stories of unrequited love, but none compared to her own. None of them were as heartbreaking as actually living it.
As the door clicked shut behind him, Lucie let out a deep sigh. Now she got to sit here for hours and wonderwhen he was coming home. Starting a group video call with Faith and Bea, she wasn’t surprised to see Julien on her screen before anyone else.
‘Hi! How’s Oz?’ He grinned at her, holding the camera right up to his face.
‘Jules, move the phone back,’ Lucie laughed, fighting the sniffles that threatened to turn into full-blown waterworks if she wasn’t cheered up ASAP. She ignored his question.
‘Oh, my bad. Faith was getting dressed in the background, so I thought I’d use my big head to block the view. She’ll take over in a couple of minutes.’
‘Hi, ladies! Oh, hello, Julien.’ Bea appeared, giving Julien her usual prim and proper greeting to wind him up.
‘Bea, what’s the tea?’ Julien asked, happy with himself for learning slang from his teenage daughter no matter how wrong it sounded coming from his mouth.
‘I’m here!’ Faith launched herself onto the bed and into frame, taking the phone from her husband but keeping him in shot.
‘Right, so you know how Ricardo has ignored me for nearly ayear? Even at races? Does anyone want to take a wild guess as to why that arsehole called me this afternoon? He told me he loves me. I mean, what thehell? Is it just me, or is that slightly unhinged?’
‘So basically, he’s matching your energy and it’s freaking you out.’ Julien shrugged; his insult mildly disguised with what could be considered advice.
‘Iwasunhinged, Moretz.Was. I love him, but this is a lot to take in. How do I trust that this is what he wants?Oh my God, he’s calling meagain,’ Bea yelled in exasperation. ‘I’m going to give him a piece of my mind. Will update you tomorrow.’
‘You avoided my question. Don’t think I didn’t notice.’ Julien raised an eyebrow at Lucie.
‘Australia is fine. Brett is fine. I’m fine. How’s Jasmine? I saw she posted that she was at a go-kart track today.’
‘Yeah!’ The pair of them lit up. ‘She’s fast, just like her dad.’ Faith beamed.
Following a long catch-up, with a large hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and marshmallows in her hand and her favourite hoodie, Lucie settled down in bed to watch a film. She was supposed to watch this one with Brett, but he owed her this. Go out with your ex-fiancée and sacrifice watchingAnyone But You.
