Page 84 of Retrograde
‘I know, I know. But I need to know the rest, Anderson. Please.’
‘A house, a garden, a vegetable patch. I want to spend my off time between races doing DIY projects and learning to cook, in one place I can call home. Whether it’s Italy, America, Australia. I want dogs and chickens. We can discuss babies some other time, but for now? I want goats. And I want to be whereverwefeel the most at home, Luce. I just want to be with you.’
‘I love you. I should have said it in Tuscany. Hell, I should have said it in the Alps that first night. I should have said it when you finally broke up with Sienna, or after your first championship win. Your second. Third. My point is, I’ve been keeping it to myself for too long, and I’m tired. I’m tired of pretending like my entire world doesn’t revolve around you. If I can’t have you, I don’t want anyone.’
‘Fuck me, Sunny,’ he laughed in disbelief. ‘I love you, too, you wombat.’
‘So, you didn’t sleep with Sienna that night I came looking for you?’
‘No, Lucie. It was never her I wanted.’
‘Fuck.’ She breathed out a shaky laugh. ‘Now I feel even worse.’
‘Don’t. We were both hurting, we both made mistakes, we were both shit scared of ruining our friendship. But nothing has to change. That’s what makes us so perfect. We justfit. Nobody on the planet will ever compare to you and the way I feel when I’m with you, and I don’t want them to. You’re it for me, Sunny. Always have been, always will be.’
‘Can I finally kiss you without having my heart ripped out of my chest?’ She smiled as his face inched closer and closer to hers.
‘Promise me goats and you can have whatever you want.’
‘You can have as many goats as we have space for.’
‘On our own farm?’ he murmured against her lips.
‘Mmhmm.’ And that was all she managed to get out before his lips were on hers, knocking the wind out of her. It was the best kiss yet. One that held the promises she’d been looking for all this time, a kiss that held their entire future within it.
Ten years. It had seemed like a lifetime while she was living it, but now it was just a drop in the ocean compared to all the years they had ahead of them. She could finally kiss him and touch him without consequences, without worrying that he would never feel the same or she would end up alone, watching him move on withsomeone who wasn’t her. She could watch him get behind the wheel of his beloved racing car and proudly shout from the rooftops that the racing driver the rest of the motorsport world loved washers.
Epilogue
Planning a wedding that the bride didn’t know about was either the best idea or worst idea Brett had ever had. His first full season back on track had been smooth sailing, with Lucie holding his hand both physically and emotionally. Sure, he could have done it without her, but now he didn’t have to. He would never have to be without her again.
Those few months between leaving Tuscany and seeing her at Christmas had been hell, but they had been a necessary hell. He had learned to live without her, and he’d continued his healing journey, but he would still always be the best version of himself with his sunshine girl by his side. Discovering that she loved him too had felt even better than the day Jasper told him he could come back to the garage three races earlier than planned.
He had grown to love therapy so much that his sessions still hadn’t stopped almost two years after he’d started them. Never again would his friends be forced to pick up the pieces, pull him out of a downward spiral. He would never let himself get even close to being in that position. Finally, instead of being in retrograde, he was moving forward.
He had even started campaigning for better, widermental health awareness within the motorsport industry, using his own experience as the driving force behind his campaign. He’d been lucky to have the support of his team, and he knew a lot of other teams and sponsors wouldn’t have been so open to working with him to turn a negative into a positive.
Today wasn’t just about marrying his best friend. In classic Brett Anderson fashion, he had bought their dream home. A farmhouse in Malmedy, right down the road from the Jensen-Moretz property. Lucie had complained so many times over the years about wishing everyone could be in one place, and now they were well on their way. He only hoped Marco and Bea would one day follow suit.
Lucie was clueless. About all of it. They were straight off the back of another Revolution Racing championship win, and she had spent two weeks in London and Berlin with Esme and Bea, hosting the pop-up workshops they’d been planning for Girls Off Track. Faith was here, helping him with interior design in between looking after the twins. He was so proud of Lucie and the hard work she’d put in to securing the future of motorsport, this surprise was the least he could do. It was the bare minimum of what she deserved.
He hadn’t got down on one knee and proposed, but she’d known marriage was on the horizon. She’d been sending him photos of rings for months, telling him how she wanted her flowers and what music she wanted to walk down the aisle to. What she didn’t know was he had been making notes. She had so much stress on hershoulders, he wanted to take the additional stress of wedding planning away and do this for her. Having said that, he had only decided on a date three weeks ago and now, as she was ten minutes away,hewas the stressed one.
‘Brett, stop panicking,’ Rosa patted his arm reassuringly. ‘She’ll love it.’
‘What if she’s late? The musician has another event straight after, I only managed to get him on board because I promised to fly him out to a race of his choice next season.’ He checked his watch for the third time in ten minutes.
‘You left Bea in charge of getting her here. Trust me, she will be on time.’ Faith laughed at his furrowed brow. He’d be asking Bea for advice on Botox, at this rate.
‘Twins are ready!’ Julien walked outside with his youngest daughters, one in each arm, wearing matching pale purple dresses. Lucie’s signature colour. There was lavender everywhere, but his favourite part was the arch they would stand under to exchange their vows.
‘And Jazzy has the rings?’ He whipped his head around until he spotted Jasmine walking out in her lilac satin gown. She was perhaps the most excited out of everyone.
‘Yeah, hey, can we take the twins’ shoes off? Emmie hates them.’
‘Of course. You keep hold of them; I’ll do it.’
Brett had been loving staying in permanent uncle-mode since they were born. He was rooting for Faith and Julien to have a boy one day, because he wanted akid named after him, too. Anderson Mars was a great option to honour both him and Marco, and he’d been vocal about it, which earned him death glares from Faith, who had hated every moment of pregnancy.
