Page 12 of Unholy Confessions
Then he leans down and presses a kiss to my forehead, gentle and sweet and full of promise. It's not the kind of kiss I've been dreaming about, but it's enough for now. It's a beginning.
As we walk back toward the parking lot, I can't help but feel like everything is about to change. RJ is getting better, finding his path, becoming the person he's meant to be. And maybe, just maybe, that path will lead him back to me in all the ways I've been hoping for.
For now, though, I'm content to walk beside him in the fading light, listening to him talk about his dreams and plans, feeling like the future is bright and full of possibility for both of us.
Chapter 5
RJ (Age 16)
My knee bounces up and down as I sit in the green room of The Lounge. This is my first time playing, but Grey Skies have played here three times before. It took me a while to learn all the songs, and we had to get permission for me to be here, since I'm under eighteen.
"Montgomery's out there," EJ says as he comes through the door. "Jared's standing guard, and there's not going to be one person who touches her, but she's going to have an unobstructed view of you."
Those words warm my chest. To know she's going to be here for my first show? It means absolutely everything.
I run my hands through my hair and stand up, pacing the small space. "What if I mess up? What if I forget the bridge in Midnight Rain or…"
"RJ." EJ grabs my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "You know these songs better than I do at this point. You've been practicing non-stop."
He's right. Ever since I got started on medication, and could start focusing on what actually mattered instead of drowning in my own mind, music has become my lifeline.
"Five minutes!" someone calls from the hallway.
My heart hammers against my ribs as we make our way to the side of the stage. The crowd's energy is palpable, a low hum of excitement that makes my skin tingle. I peek around the curtain and spot them immediately—Mom and Dad standing near the front with Jared and Shell, all four of them beaming with pride. And there, protected by Jared's imposing presence but with a perfect view of the stage, is Montgomery.
Her blonde hair catches the stage lights, and even from here I can see the way her eyes sparkle with anticipation. She's wearing this little black dress that hugs her curves perfectly, and I have to force myself to look away before I lose my nerve entirely.
"Ready?" EJ asks, guitar slung over his shoulder.
I nod, adjusting my grip on my guitar. "Let's do this."
The moment we walk onto that stage, everything changes. The crowd erupts, and the lights hit us like a warm embrace. I find my spot at the mic, and when I look out into the sea of faces, I see Montgomery's smile, bright and encouraging.
We launch into our opening song, and something magical happens. All the nerves, all the anxiety—it melts away. This is what I was born to do. My fingers move across the strings like they've been doing it my whole life, and when I lean into the microphone for the first verse, my voice comes out strong and clear.
This is what life feels like when you're not running from it.
The thought hits me as we transition into the second song. For so long, I was drowning in self-doubt, in the weight of expectations I couldn't meet. But standing here, with the music flowing through me and the crowd responding to every note, I realize how much better everything is now. I can think clearly. I can be present for moments like this.
During the guitar solo in Faded Memory, a song RJ wrote for a childhood friend that passed away, I catch Montgomery's eye. She's swaying to the music, her lips moving along with words she shouldn't know but somehow does. It's not like any of these have been played on the radio. They're available on streaming services, and YouTube, but other than that, it's not as if people are breaking down the doors to listen to them. She's actively searching them out, and listening to them long enough to catch the words. The pride in her expression makes my chest swell.
Three songs in, and I'm completely in my element. I love the sound of the crowd, the way the lights highlight us on stage, but make it so that we can't see the crowd. We have to feel them, and feel them I can. The stage is like my bedroom, and the guitar feels like an extension of my soul. All that anxiety and depression I've had lightly? It fucking comes out in every string I press down, every strum. When we play Midnight Rain—the song I was most worried about—I nail every single note, even throwing in a little improvisation that makes EJ grin back at me from where he's singing the lyrics.
The set flies by in a blur of music, adrenaline, and just flat out fuckin' fun. Before I know it, we're taking our bows, and the crowd is going wild. I wave at my parents, who are cheering louder than anyone. I throw a wink at Montgomery, and I can see the blush work its way across her. We wave to the crowd one more time, and then EJ escorts us all off stage.
Backstage, EJ pulls me into a crushing hug. It's the type of emotion I've begged to see from him our entire lives. "You killed it, little brother. Absolutely killed it." I'm almost as proud of his praise as I am of how proud our parents looked.
The rest of the band converges around us, slapping my back and yelling how excited they are that we've just done this, but all I can think about is getting to Montgomery. I need to see her, need to know what she thought of the show.
When I finally make it out to the crowd, my parents are there first, Mom practically in tears as she hugs me tight.
"We're so proud of you," Dad says, his voice thick with emotion. "You were incredible up there. Both of you were, but I didn't know you could play like that. I've seen EJ do it often, but..." he trails off.
My cheeks heat as a blush creeps up the back of my neck. I nod,understanding his apology, and accepting it in that moment.
Jared claps me on the shoulder. "You've got some chops," he tells my parents. "That's real fuckin' talent."
"Thank you." I smile at him, and then our parents, and Montgomery's parents are heading backstage to congratulate the rest of the band members.Then I'm left with her. The one I've been dying to see. When I spot her, she's hanging back slightly, suddenly shy, my heart does that thing it always does around her—kicks into overdrive.
