Page 4 of Unholy Confessions
I stand there for another minute, listening to them talk about the show, about the setlist, about how this could be EJ's big break. Dad's giving him advice about performing, about handling nerves, about making the most of the opportunity. All the things I've wanted him to talk to me about for months.
"I'm going to bed," I announce, but neither of them really acknowledges me.
As I head upstairs, I can still hear them talking. Planning. Bonding. Being father and son in a way that Dad and I haven't been in what feels like forever.
I close my bedroom door and lean against it, my heart heavy despite the happiness from kissing Montgomery. EJ's getting everything I want – Dad's attention, his pride, his guidance. He's getting to perform, to be part of the music that I desperately want to play. He's getting to be the son that Dad's proud of.
I've never been so goddamn jealous in my life…
Chapter 2
Montgomery (Age 15)
My lips are burning as I run into the house and lean against the closed door, a smile spreading across my face.
"Was that RJ?"
Glancing up, I put my hand over my mouth. "Yeah Dad, it was. What are you doing? Spying on me?"
He rolls his eyes, giving me a grin. "I'm not spying on you. I was walking by the damn door, and you came in with a grin on your face, ignoring the fuck outta me."
How embarrassing. He saw me right after my first kiss. "Love you, Dad." I give him a wave.
"No, hang on." He reaches out, grabbing my arm. "Your mom told me you were asking her questions the other day about RJ. I wanna talk to you."
Shit. A. Brick.
"Dad..."
He raises his eyebrows and points toward the living room. If there's one thing Jared Winston does well besides playing guitar in a rock band, it's suss out bullshit from teenagers. I've never told him no, and I'm not about to start now. When we get into the living room and each have seats on the couch, he turns to face me.
"Tell me what's going on. Some of the things your mom said, has me worried."
My stomach aches as I look at him, trying to figure out how to explain everything that's been happening. "Things with RJ have been weird, he's been different."
"How so?"
Now is the moment when I need to make the decision. Am I going to tell him about the fighting? About him not being able to sleep at night? How he seems to be getting more annoyed lately, how he can't concentrate? "Dad..." I start.
He reaches out, grabbing my hand. This is the man I've looked up to my entire life. I know he's had issues with substances and alcohol. Twice he's had to leave us to go to rehab. My parents have always been honest with me about it. His struggles aren't hidden in our family, and I feel as if it's made us stronger.
"Montgomery it's important you be honest with me. If RJ needs help, I wanna make sure he gets it."
My throat tightens and my heart pounds. Why do I feel as if I'm betraying RJ? But I know, having lived with my dad, that what he's saying is true.
I take a deep breath, studying Dad's face. His dark eyes are serious, and there's something in them that reminds me of the conversations we had when I was younger, when he'd explain why he had to go away for a while. He always said that asking for help wasn't weakness – it was courage. That recognizing when someone you love needs help is one of the most important things you can do.
"He's been fighting," I say quietly, the words feeling heavy as I push them out of my mouth. "There's this underground fighting thing happening in some warehouse downtown. I followed him there tonight."
Dad's face doesn't change, but I can see his jaw tighten slightly. "Fighting? Like, organized fights?"
"Yeah." I look down at my knuckles, remembering the way RJ's looked. "He says it's the only way he can think clearly anymore. That he needs to hurt and be hurt to feel normal."
"Jesus." Dad runs a hand through his hair. "How long has this been going on?"
"A few months, I think. Maybe longer." I force myself to look at him. "Dad, I'm scared. He's not sleeping well – he told me he's been up most nights. And he can't concentrate on anything. Even at school, his grades are slipping, and you know how smart RJ is."
"What else?" His voice is gentle but firm. "I can see there's more."
