Page 41 of Unholy Confessions
"Me too." He leans down to kiss me, and it's soft and sweet and perfect. "So... movie night?"
The hopeful look in his eyes makes my heart ache, but I shake my head. "I think I need some space tonight, RJ. To process everything."
His face falls, and frustration pinches his eyebrows together. "Process what?"
"Just us. Today. The past few weeks. It's been a lot.." I reach up to touch his cheek. "I'm not saying anything's wrong. I just need some time to think."
He's quiet for a long moment, studying my face. Then he nods, even though I can see the disappointment in his eyes.
"Okay," he says. "If that's what you need."
But he doesn't step away. Instead, he cups my face in his hands and kisses me again, and this time it's different. Desperate. Hungry. Like he's trying to convince me to change my mind without using words.
And God help me, it almost works.
I kiss him back, my hands fisting in his shirt, pulling him closer. He backs me against my door, his body pressing against mine, and I can feel every hard line of him. His hands slide down to my hips, pulling me tighter against him, and I can't help the soft moan that escapes. Reaching down, he hooks his hands around my thighs and lifts me up against the door.
"Montgomery," he breathes against my lips, and I can hear everything he's not saying in the way he says my name.
His mouth moves to my neck, finding that spot that makes my knees weak, and I arch into him. One of his hands tangles in my hair while the other slides under my shirt, his palm hot against my skin. My nipple tightens against the skin of his palm.
In between my legs, he's notched his hard cock, and we're thrusting at one another. His fingers tighten around my breast, and I ride the ridge of his length. The orgasm takes me by surprise, as does his. He pulls away from my mouth, and presses his lips into my shoulder, moaning deep as he grunts. I can't believe we just came from dry humping in front of my door.
But it's not changed anything, not for me.
"Please," he whispers, and I'm not sure if he's asking me to let him inside or just asking me not to pull away.
But I can't do this. Not when everything feels so uncertain.
"RJ," I say, gently pushing against his chest. "I can't."
He pulls back, his breathing ragged, his eyes dark with want and frustration with what's going on between us. For a moment, neither of us moves. Then he steps back, running both hands through his hair.
"Okay," he says, his voice rough. "Okay."
He kisses me one more time, soft and lingering, like he's memorizing the taste of me.
"I love you," he says against my lips.
"I love you too," I whisper back, and I mean it. Even with all the uncertainty, even with all my doubts, I love him.
I watch him walk back to his truck, fighting every instinct that tells me to call him back. When he drives away, I lean against my door and close my eyes, still tasting him on my lips and wondering if I just made a terrible mistake.
Chapter 21
RJ
It's been a few days since Montgomery and I went out to the zoo, and we ended things on such a weird note. Her not wanting me to come inside, and then the hot makeout session which ended with me leaving, with my boxers sticky. She hasn't called me, and I haven't called her. We've texted here and there, but things just feel off. Who am I kidding, everything feels off.
And I'm counting pills again. It's been less than a week since I got the extra prescription filled, and they're almost gone. But what I really want more than anything is the feeling I got from the bump of cocaine that Evan gave to me.
Trailing my hands over my face, I inhale deeply and then exhale. I'm in fucking deep shit. But I still grab my phone and scroll through until I see Evan's name. Before I can talk myself out of it, I text him.
R: You think I could get more of what you gave me the other day?
The response comes back almost immediately.
E: You at home?
