Page 67 of Love Beyond the Illusion
I automatically curl into a fetal position in his arms. Blindsided by the intense emotions that hit me, my eyes swell, having never experienced that type of release. “I feel weak but euphoric.”
“So do I.” Jack nuzzles his nose into my hair like he always does when we fall asleep in each other’s arms.
Jack and I stay in this position long enough for me to attempt to gather myself. He gazes down at me, taking two fingers to pinch my chin, raising my head to his. Then, he lowers his lips to mine, giving me a deeply intimate and overpowering kiss.
“I’m going to start a bath for you. Then, I’ll go pick up something for us to eat.”
I smile at him, still somewhat dizzy from overexertion. “That sounds perfect.”
Jack gently lays me back down and gets off the bed.
A second later, I hear the sound of running bath water. My thoughts with excitement, apprehension, and electricity. I have given myself to Jack without understanding what we are or what we’re doing. The other night, when we both watched each other get off, he said he was doing it all for me after I begged him to do it. I succumbed to the temptation of having Jack, only for him to reiterate the complications, stating that it couldn’t happen again. And yes, I agreed with him—I truly did, but it’s impossible to deny our connection.
Now, what happened today? I would have put up more of a fight when he came home demanding that I give myself to him, but I didn’t want to. I wanted him. I wanted to have all of him, and even though my first instinct is to regret what we did with each other, I don’t.
I wrap a bedsheet around myself as Jack walks out with a white towel around his waist. When our eyes meet, we stand silently in front of each other, both of us hiding our bodies when there is no need to anymore. I take in a heavy inhale before blurting out the first thing on my mind. “I don’t regret it.”
Jack straightens his stance. “I don’t either.”
I’m glad he doesn’t because if he did, that would wipe out every positive emotion still buzzing within me.
Later on that evening, Jack and I are lying in bed watching a movie together. We’ve both been relatively quiet since he returned with takeout earlier. I wanted to ask him about his meeting while we ate, but this is a better time. He’s calm and more likely to share with me what caused him to get upset.
I sit up, resting my back against two stacked pillows. Jack’s arm falls from where it was around my shoulder.
He glances down at me tucked into his side. “Is something the matter?”
“What happened at the meeting?”
Jack brings his hands together in front of his face. A brief moment passes before he begins to speak. “My dad’s best friend Steve and his son Preston basically told me that I didn’t deserve the winery and that they would be more successful with it.”
“Oh shit, I’d be pissed too. What assholes they are.” No wonder Jack was so upset. What a messed up situation he’s in. No wonder he convinced himself that he needed my help. Who’s on his side?
“Yeah. They also explained that the winegrowers association and the community would be more comfortable with keeping it as a family-run business—and since Preston and Sophia are getting married and will most likely have kids, it’s better for optics.”
I tuck my legs to my chest. “That’s such bullshit.”
Jack’s mouth is set in a hard line as he nods, sharing my frustration. “I know. It’s fucked up that we live in an age where having a family shouldn’t matter in an overall sense, but it does. Especially in this small community.”
“This isn’t fair.”
“I know. I told you all this before. That’s why you’re here, to make me look more wholesome,” he says.
“Yeah, you did, but I guess I didn’t fully understand in the beginning, and now that I’m living in it with you, I realize how stressful it really is.” I rest my chin on my knees.
“They offered to buy us out. And honestly, for a split second, I considered it. But then I saw the look on my mom’s face. She turned white as a ghost. She misses my dad so much, and the winery is all she has left of him.”
“She has you. And from what you’ve told me, there was nothing more your parents wanted in the world than for it to be yours.” I refute his assumption.
Jack frowns. “I want that, too, and even though I’m grateful to have had these years to experience a life on my own, I wonder if it was all worth it.”
I can’t imagine the weight and pressure that Jack is under, and the more I chip away at that hard exterior that he’s built around himself, the more I want to be the one with him when it’s gone.
I cup the side of his face. He leans into it. “Don’t regret anything. You made the best decision with the knowledge you had at the time. If anything, I feel like it was self-preservation. If you never would have broken free, you wouldn’t have become the person you are today.”
Jack gently reaches for my arm and slowly guides my hand to his lips, leaving a tender kiss on the hollow of my wrist. It’s one of the most intimate gestures someone has ever given me. My eyes stay trapped in the softness of his expression even after he pulls his lips away. I wiggle myself into the safety under his arm, and he tightens around me.
“You’re right. Thanks,” he says in a low voice.
