Page 89 of Love Beyond the Illusion
“You were going to take a shower without me on our last day together?” he tsks, sliding his hands along the smooth skin of my curves.
I plaster a fake smile on my face, masking the pain I’m feeling inside. “Sorry.”
“I forgive you,” he says, cupping my elbows and swinging my arms around his neck. I interlace my fingers behind him and step into his familiar skin. I get a little lightheaded as our bodies are flush. Jack’s hands clutch my hips, rubbing my core against his growing cock. He dips his head down and brings his sweet, wet lips to mine. My eyes fill with tears, savoring the taste and feel of his mouth on mine. But my uncertainty doesn’t stop the way he makes me feel. The wholeness and completion that I’ve never known.
“I’m going to miss you,” he mutters, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth. He’s making this so fucking difficult. How can this not be real for him?
“I’m going to miss you too.” My voice comes out unstable and filled with raw emotion. I tuck my arms, curl into him, and turn my face to the side against his chest.
Jack exhales a heavy sigh and wraps his arms around me. “Goddammit.”
At this point, I don’t know how much I will miss him or how I’m supposed to return to my life after what has developed between us over the last month and a half. My entire life has gone from vertical to horizontal and back again.
Jack takes the tips of his fingers and glides them slowly over the skin on my lower back, sending a shiver up my spine. Then, he brings the other hand and repeats the movement, allowing both hands to land on my shoulder blades, tugging me further into his embrace.
I feel like I can’t breathe, and our cuddling is becoming too much. It’s fucking torture. I pull back, looking deeply into his eyes.
“This is going to hurt like a motherfucker, isn’t it?” He drops his lips to the top of my shoulder.
“Yes,” I tell him, tracing the path of the water droplets with my mouth as they roll down his neck.
“Can I wash your hair?” He reaches down to grab the shampoo with one hand.
I clamp my eyes shut, breathing in his scent—of us. Searing it into my mind, scared that I’ll forget it.But how could I?
After a couple of minutes, we finished up, and as always, I got out first, followed by Jack. Except this time, once I walked into the bedroom, he didn’t follow me. He stays in the bathroom and puts his clothes on behind a closed door.
Fear and panic rush me with a vengeance. My nerves already sense the stark difference in his energy. I put on a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a long-sleeved white shirt.
When Jack walks out fully clothed, he glances at me and gestures toward the living room. “I’m going to get some work done, and I’m sure you want to start packing.”
My mouth lifts with a smile, acknowledging him, but my eyes remain low and heavy.
I keep my distance for the rest of the morning while Jack works in the other room. I feel like we’re back at the beginning—barely speaking, an impenetrable space between us, and the uncomfortableness of the nature of our relationship. We’ve shared an intense connection, showed our raw and vulnerable sides, and we’ve been exposed to each other. Now, it's being ripped away.
I need to talk with my best friends, and even though I’m not in the mood for dinner and drinks tonight, I will go anyway. Avery, Lina, and Bailey are my sisters. They’ll know how to help me through this gut-wrenching situation I’ve knowingly gotten myself into.
“You’ve been quiet all morning.” He walks into the bedroom, clutching two mugs of coffee. “This is going to be hard, I know.”
I climb to my feet from kneeling on the floor in front of my half-packed suitcase. He hands me one of the cups. The smell is warm and comforting, providing temporary relief to the uneasiness that I’ve been feeling.
“I’m not trying to be,” I reply, but I know I have. I’ve been stuck in my head.
Jack sits at the end of the bed and stares at the piles of my clothes that scatter the floor. “I didn’t realize how many clothes you have.”
“Because they were hanging in the closet or folded in the dresser drawers,” I reply, setting the coffee on the nightstand.
“It will be weird not having you here with me.” Jack avoids my eye contact.
“It’ll be weirdnotbeing here.”
A heavy silence fills the room.
“Um.” Jack rubs the back of his neck. “Should we talk about what happens next?”
My breath halts. We need to address the next steps, our business deal, and whether he needs me anymore. “Yes, that’s probably a good idea.” I take the spot next to him on the bed, taking care to maintain at least a foot between us which fucking slices me.
“I appreciate your help. In more ways than one.” He leans forward, resting his elbows on his bent knees. “When I first thought of you helping me, I never thought it would go this far. I honestly thought you’d come out a few times to make me look good, help my image, and maybe take some of the heat off my back.” He lowers his head toward me. “But you did so much more than that—”
