Page 95 of Love Beyond the Illusion
Love,
Mr. Bradley
It had been all a fever dream that I was never meant to wake up from. But I did. The vibrant colors and aliveness that came with it are now erased—vanished into my mind’s hidden crevices, which now only live inmy memory. A man who has taught me to live, breathe, and love.
I need some time to myself. I don’t have the energy to leave my apartment. I swipe my phone from the table next to me and bring up our group chat.
Me: Hey ladies, I’m not feeling up to going out tonight. Have fun, and I’ll see you all in the air.
Bailey texts back almost immediately.
Bailey: What? Is everything okay?
Always the mom in the group.
Me: I’m fine. I think I need some time by myself. Don’t worry, everything is fine.
Lina: Obviously, we’re going to worry. You always talk to us. Are you sure you’re alright?
My brain is swirling. I need time alone to clear it. Figure out how I’m feeling, why I’m feeling this way, and how I’m going to move past it.
Avery: I haven’t gotten to the restaurant yet, be at your apartment in 5.
Bailey: You can’t bail on us and not tell us what’s wrong.
Lina: Bailey and I are leaving The Poppy now, will be over there in less than ten.
I decide not to respond. I’ll speak with my friends when they get here. I’m grateful for them, but how am I supposed to explain what has happened between Jack and me? They won’t understand. I can barely make sense of it all.
Heading back into the kitchen, I grab the bottle of wine, put it up to my lips, and take another big gulp.
While I wait for the three of them to arrive, I start to unpack my suitcase. As soon as I lift the top, my eyes fall to Jack’s dark gray hoodie. A wave of nausea hits, clenching my stomach. I instantly climb to my feet and bolt into the other room.I can’t do this.It’s not like we’re a long-distance couple with the hope that someday I’ll get used to the back and forth.
Jack and I are over, and the finality of it rips at my soul.
The building buzzer goes off once again. Bailey, Lina, and Avery must be here. I buzz them in without answering and then wait by the door until they reach my floor.
“What’s going on?” Avery storms in before I have a chance to open the door all the way.
Bailey and Lina are following quickly behind her.
“Are you alright?” Lina opens her arms. I sink into them. Feeling a soft hand rubbing my back, my eyes start to fill with tears.
“What happened?” Bailey asks, taking a seat on my couch next to Avery.
I pull back from Lina. She keeps her arm around me and leads me to the soft chair in the corner of the room. When she releases me, she squeezes herself between Bailey and Avery on the couch.
I bury my head in my hands and begin to speak. “Jack and I are done with everything we needed to do.” I lift my face upward, avoiding eye contact with them. “He—um, gave me a check this morning for the amount he promised, but I couldn’t take it.”
“You don’t want it to be over?” Lina asks.
I shake my head.
Avery rests her chin in her palm. “Did you tell him that?”
Frowning, I shake my head again.
“You’re having a hard time with this. Do you know how he is feeling?” Bailey asks, keeping her voice low.
