Page 33 of Love Beyond the Illusion
The more I get to know Jack, the more I’m drawn to him. We both battle sleep. I’m not sure yet what deprives him—whether it’s demons or his own insecurities, but I’m craving to know. “The nights don’t just plague you. They come for me too,” I admit, pressing my lips together.
“Is that why you decided to come out here to feel me up?”
I turn toward the refrigerator, rolling my eyes. “Yes, that’s exactly why.”
“At least you admit it,” he retorts.
Nothing looks good, so I shut the refrigerator door behind me. “What’s your story? Why are you eating an apple in the dark at three in the morning?”
Jack hands it to me, but not before stealing another bite. I briefly pause before taking it from him.Is he giving it to me to hold?No. He wants to share it with me. Now, this looks good enough to eat. With a smile on my face, I bring it to my lips and take a small bite.
Following the movements of my mouth, he clears his throat. “I had all these new marketing ideas running through my mind, and I wanted to get them flushed out before I forget all of them.” He shrugs. “Then, I got hungry.”
“Ideas for the winery?” I hand it back to him, half assuming he wouldn’t want it anymore.
Jack circles it with his fingers a few times, keeping his eyes trained on me. When he finds the spot I bit, he opens his mouth and sinks his teeth into it. Purposefully avoiding the peel’s obvious unbitten areas like a typical person would. “Yeah.” He holds his hand out again. “There are so many moving parts with this whole thing that my brain just doesn’t stop.”
It’s three in the morning. I’m stuck with him for the next week and a half—I guess I can play. I lean forward and sink my teeth into the apple. It’s even more delicious after his lips and tongue have been all over it.That’s right, I can play too.
Jack’s eyes fall to my mouth.
“Those ideas must have been good if they woke you up in the middle of sleep.” I pretend to be unbothered by how his eyes flare. I see movement from underneath my bottom lashes. Jack brings a gentle thumb to my lower lip and wipes a drop of juice that I didn’t realize was there. My lips tingle and unintentionally part under the heat of his touch.
“My brain likes to work overdrive while I’m trying to sleep. Some of my best ideas have come to me between the hours of one and four in the morning.” He wipes it away but takes care in going slow until he reaches the corner of my mouth. A bolt of electricity surges down my back and settles between my legs when he takes his finger and brings it to his mouth to lick it off.
I pull in as much air as possible through my nostrils, trying to keep myself from passing out.Fuck, that was hot.
He casually takes another bite. “So, what plagues your nights?”
I pause for a moment, diving into myself and contemplating a response to his question. We’ve developed a unique relationship, but I still don’t know him well enough to fully commit to sharing my emotional baggage—my mother.I’ve kept the complex layers of my childhood and the details of Roxy hidden from most people for as long as I can remember. And I don’t plan on letting anyone else in.
But I do feel safe enough to give him something. “I have a complicated relationship with my mother.”
Jack adjusts himself against the granite counter. “Sorry to hear that. I didn’t have the best relationship with my father either.”
“I wish things were different.”
“Don’t we all? The emotional toll of a strained relationship with a parent is a heavy feeling.” His voice is low, and his words sound sincere.
I feel my shoulders relax a little. I want to believe that Jack would fully understand Roxy, but it’s impossible. He might think he’s relating to me, but no one truly knows unless you lived it. I let out a deep sigh. “Anxiety, my own demons, thoughts of inadequacy. They all play in a never-ending loop as well.”
Jack lifts the apple to his mouth one more time, making sure I see him run his tongue along the sweet flesh. Everything comes to a halt. I hungrily watch as his lips push out. I startle when my panties dampen, imagining his mouth buried inside the wet heat between my legs. He takes that last bite and then tosses it into the trash.
“We all have our own demons. They just visit us in different ways,” he breaks the silence.
I’m shaking myself out of it—we’re still engaged in a conversation. “Yes, I deeply feel that statement. The mind of an overthinker is a black hole of what-ifs.”
“I’m sure.”
I instinctively fold my arms across my chest. “I think it’s because the distractions of the day are gone, and all that’s left are me and my thoughts. Most of the time, I’m either alone in a hotel room or in my apartment. You’d think that becoming a flight attendant would put me with people constantly, but it’s actually quite the opposite. I’ve found that I’m sometimes even lonelier than I was before.”
That’s all he needs to know right now. Jack and I both have things that keep us staring into the darkness behind our eyelids as the hours drag on. Worry constantly knocks on our door, threatening to rob us of our peace.
“Right now, we have each other, so at this point, neither of us is alone.” Jack’s voice is smooth and reassuring. He pushes off the counter and takes a small step forward, but it’s enough to invade my space.
The air becomes dense around us. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
My eyes track his movements with uncertainty as he raises a hand toward my face. The hammering in my chest is so loud, and I bet he can hear it too. The smoothness of his skin on my temple is all I feel when my eyes fall closed. Jack subtly leans forward, his breath brushing the corner of my mouth. “I’ll be right out here if you wake up again looking for another late-night snack.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
