Page 101 of Beauty Beneath the Sorrow
Giggles bubble inside my chest as I try to hold back my feelings. “Fine. Okay?”
Avery grabs our cups from the pickup counter and hands me the vanilla latte. “Fine,what?”
I know what she’s getting at. She wants me to admit that I have deeper feelings for Carter. But I can’t. The second I let those words leave my mouth, they’ll take on a life of their own. The simple yet truthful admission will make it that much more real, and I can’t let my mind go there. Keeping them buried prevents me from acknowledging them, allowing me to go on living in my delusional state.
I exhale. “I like him. That’s it.”
“And?” She sips her drink.
I hold the door as we leave the cafe. Avery and I are walking back toward the Pilates studio, where our cars are parked.
“He makes me happy.”
She wrinkles her nose while bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I knew it.”
“Whatever. You knew nothing,” I say.
“I can’t believe your dad’s best friend is the guy that’s finally going to throw out Lina, the Ice Queen.”
I cock my head to the side, ready to send her a snarky comeback, but I can’t think of one. She’s right.
Her eyes suddenly grow wide. “Are you going to tell your dad?”
“Tell him what?” I cross one arm at my chest, holding my cup in the other.
“About you and Carter.”
“What about you and the dentist?” I turn the conversation on her. Avery has been wasting her time with that guy for a year. Bailey and Piper won’t say it to her face, but I will.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she dismisses.
“Oh, you don’t want to talk about your lackluster love life, but I have to talk about my complicated one?” I retort, throwing a hand on my hip.
“I know he isn’t the one for me,” Avery admits, her expression falling.
My heart hurts for her. “I’m sorry, babe. I shouldn’t have pushed you like that.”
She shrugs. “It’s okay. We can drop it if you want.”
“No, we can talk about it.” I swing an arm around her. “It’s tricky with Carter and me because of his friendship with my dad.”
The night Carter joined my dad, his girlfriend, and me at dinner, it went better than I thought it would. Carter and Idrove over there together, so it was an easy excuse to tell my dad he would take me back to my place. He spent the night with me that night, too. We didn’t even have sex. We slept the entire night intertwined in each other’s limbs, and it was fantastically glorious.
It was nice having dinner with my dad and Carter. It almost takes the awkwardness out of having the man you’re dating meet your father. They already like each other anyway.What am I thinking?Carter isn’t my boyfriend. I shouldn’t want to be with him.
But then why does my heart stop every time he looks at me? And why do my thoughts become silenced every time he speaks? His very presence calms me, and soothing an anxious, energetic person is not easy.
Avery and I pass back by the studio and quickly wave at two of the instructors as they stand at the doors, greeting the people as they arrive. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“I get it. You don’t want your dad to know. But what if this develops into something more?”
She brings up valid concerns, but I refuse to entertain them. I squeeze my eyes shut. Thinking about not seeing Carter anymore is something I can’t imagine right now.
“I don’t know, Avery.”
She frowns and rubs the side of my arm. “It’s coming like a freight train, isn’t it?”
Swallowing hard, I dart my eyes around the busy street. Then I bring them back to Avery, and without saying another word, she knows exactly how I’m feeling. The types of emotions that can’t be put into words.
