Page 103 of Beauty Beneath the Sorrow
I nod. “The last few years that we’ve been in each other’s lives haven’t been the easiest.”
“You could say that.” He smiles, making light of a tough situation.
“I didn’t realize how hard this has probably been for you too.” I twist my hair. It feels good to finally lay all this out for him. I hope that after our conversation, we’re both on the same page regarding expectations of each other.
“It has.” My dad crosses a bent leg over the other. “I want to be in your life however you’ll have me, Lina.”
I smile warmly. “I know, Dad. I appreciate it so much.”
He quickly glances away as I can see tears pooling in his eyes. “I’m so sorry I left you. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t there when you were growing up.”
My chest tightens. I remain silent, letting my dad get this out. I’m sure he’s wanted to for some time.
“I was young and poor. I never would have been able to provide for you and your mother, being barely sixteen years old and with no real future. I knew the only way I could change my situation was to join the service as soon as I was old enough. I needed the opportunities, and more importantly, I needed theskills that I did eventually gain.”
Tears roll down my cheeks. I never want my dad to be sad, but it feels refreshing to hear this from him. “I know and I’m sorry things turned out the way they did.”
He rubs the stubble on his chin and continues, “Your grandparents had just come into money, and they were determined to keep me away from you. To them, I was nothing and definitely not someone who could take care of their daughter and granddaughter. It was no secret they’d be able to provide you with a better life than I ever could.”
I make circles on my temples. “Why did you stay away so long?”
“I thought it would be better to remove myself completely. The thought of you missing me, hurt. But I guess I thought you wouldn’t be able to miss something you never had,” he confesses.
Wow.My dad’s words hit me in the gut. I can’t imagine how hard that decision was for him to make at such a young age. I would have rather had him in my life, and for a while, I did hold some resentment toward him. But now, hearing his side, I understand the sacrifices he made for me—and they were out of love for his daughter.
My eyes and nose leak, causing me to sniff a few times before responding. “I did miss you.”
“I’m sorry.” He slouches back against the chair. “I tried to make the best decision I could with the information I had at the time.”
I can be upset with my dad forever, or I can choose to move on. We’ll never have the father-daughter relationship that both of us would have wanted, but that doesn’t mean we can’t havesomething new. I love my dad, and he never not loved me, he did what he felt like he had to do.
I wipe my nose with a cloth napkin. “I understand, Dad. I do.”
“Can we just continue to build our relationship?” His brow furrows as he’s not sure of my response.
I smile, nodding. “Of course.”
He stands and quickly walks over to my side of the table with his arms open. I rise from my chair as my dad pulls me in for a hug before I have the chance to meet him around the other side.
“Thank you.” He squeezes me tightly. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” I tell him, patting his back.
He pulls away a second later, wiping his puffy eyes. “Okay, so now that’s out of the way—”
I take his change in demeanor and joking tone as a way to slip in something about Carter. I need to prep him in case he ever finds out about us. I don’t know what the future holds with Carter and me, but I would never want my dad to find out after the fact and feel betrayed. Especially if we’ve moved on from whatever it is we’ve been doing lately.
When my dad is comfortably back in his seat, I take a sip of water before I now lay it out for him. “Okay, Dad, but this means you don’t have to get my approval for every woman you date.”
He gives me a lopsided grin. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that you be with who you want, and I’ll meet them if and when it becomes serious,” I explain, “and same for me too.”
His eyebrows snap together. “Of course. I would never think about interfering in any relationships you might have.”
“I know, I’m just making sure we cover all our bases. I ama grown woman, and I don’t want you to try to meddle or get involved. Mom learned her lesson a long time ago.”
“I completely get what you’re saying.” He chuckles, then places a hand on his chest. “Lina, I’m just grateful that you’re willing to let me have a relationship with you. I promise to respect your privacy as an adult.”
