Page 121 of Beauty Beneath the Sorrow
“Okay, that was a low blow.” I feel the side of the bed dip, assuming she’s sat down. “Can I call the girls?”
“No—well, Avery,” I say. “She’s the only one left who will understand my self-loathing.”
Zoe breathes out an exaggerated sigh, making sure I hear her annoyance. “Fine. But you have to talk to me first.”
“What can I do for you, Zoe?” I raise my voice impatiently.
She jerks the pillow away, exposing my bloodshot eyes and swollen face.
“I really hate you right now.”
“I don’t give a shit.” Her lips set in a hard line. “This is ludicrous. Why can’t you be with him?”
Twisting, I pull the blanket over to cover myself again. “You don’t get it.”
Zoe pops off the bed. “Let’s get some light in here, babe.”
I hear her footsteps head toward the window, followed by the aggressive sound of the shutters tilting open. “And what don’t I get? You two are obsessed with each other. He even said he’d stay here for you.”
Anger courses through my veins. I sit straight up, my hair fanning around my shoulders. “What if he eventually resents me for it? Carter isn’t like most men. He’s never been grounded. He’s spent his entire life traveling, being on the go, and airborne.” I wipe a tear that has fallen from under my eyes. “I can’t deny him of that. I love him, Zoe, and I know what makes him happy. I know what makes him feel alive. That’s one ofthe reasons why I understand he’s never been married or had a serious girlfriend. Guys like him and my dad aren’t made for the simple life.”
“These are just poor excuses for you being scared,” she bites back, her hand planted on her hip.
I glare at my sister, hating her pushing me like this. “It’s reality.”
She crosses her arms at her chest. “Reality is what you make it.”
I hear a key in the lock downstairs as someone opens the front door.
“We’re in her room.” Zoe raises her voice, keeping her eyes on me.
My mouth drops. Unbelievable. My sisteractuallycalled our mother. She’s about to get her little ass kicked out. “You did call her, didn’t you?”
Zoe doesn’t answer me, but the smile on her face tells me it isn’t my mom. I whip my head to see Avery standing at my bedroom door, frowning. She drops her purse, kicks off her shoes, and walks over to the bed with her arms extended. My heart sinks, and suddenly, the tears spill from under my eyelids and roll down my cheeks.
“Babe, I’m so sorry.” She crawls underneath my covers and wraps her arms around me.
Resting my head on Avery’s shoulder, I look at Zoe apologetically.
“I called her a half hour ago and told her I was going to barge into your room because it had been two days.” My sister slips her hand over mine and gently squeezes it.
“Thanks.” I smile.
“You love him, Lina. Everyone knows that. It’s okay to admit it. You want to be together, and that’s okay too,” Avery says, wiping a tear from my cheek.
“There are so many reasons why we can’t be together.” I back away, running a hand through my tangled hair.
“Because you think you’re holding him back?” Avery asks.
I nod. “Yeah. I love him too much to see him try to change himself for me.”
Zoe leans forward, placing a hand on the comforter over my knee. “Your dad too, huh? Because if that’s the case, why should it fucking matter? You’ve lived the majority of your life without Brian. Why should he have a say in anything now that you’re a grown-ass woman?”
Avery pulls her mouth to the side. “True.”
I shake my head, my eyebrows knit together. “You both are forgetting the age gap between us. And Carter and my dad served together—”
Avery’s finger comes up in front of us, silencing my rambles. “That alone tells you how much you mean to him. The fact that he’d risk all of that for you. That’s love.”
