Page 20 of Beauty Beneath the Sorrow
“I’m not looking to get my dick wet,” I snap.
Brian turns to me, grabbing my shoulder. “I get it. And I know you’re not planning on being here long term, but let me at least set you up with one of her friends.”
I exhale, exasperated, before nodding in agreement to get him off my back. I have no plans to follow through, but at least I can make him happy in the moment. I feel sorry for what he’s struggling with regarding Lina.
He laughs loudly. “I knew you’d give in!”
I can’t tell him that the only thing I want to do is find the perfect woman to make love to over and over again for the rest of my life. But it’s true. And what’s also true is that I keep imagining Lina as that woman.
From the first moment I saw her strut up the skywalk and over to Brian on that day many months ago, she lit a flame inside me, and it grows every time I’m around her. I’ve traveled a lot throughout my life, and with that, I have seen—and experienced many types of women, but none remotely compares to her.
But she’s the only one I can’t have.
I’m driving home from game day at the memory care facility when I finally get the courage to text Lina. Now that I have an excuse to see her more often, I want to start as soon as I can.
Me: Hi, Lina, this is Carter. Looks like we’re going to be partners for the charity run next month.
Why does this feel like a start to something I might not be able to control? Pulling into my building’s parking garage, I sit in the car and obsessively watch as three small dots bounce upand down while she types.
Then they disappear. What? The message saysread,so I know she got it. Was she typing out a response and decided not to send it? Maybe she’s with that guy I saw her with at the restaurant last week? My fists involuntarily form tight balls.
After a couple of minutes with no response, I push open my car door and slam it shut.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why the hell do I care so much, and why is it that I barely know her, yet it feels like she’s a part of me already?
“Get it the fuck together, Hernandez,” I mutter under my breath, hitting the up arrow on the elevator.
Simultaneously, as the doors open, my pocket vibrates. I slide it out to see if it’s a response from her.
Lina: Hi, Carter.
A shot of adrenaline. A release of dopamine. A breath of life.
Before I have the chance to tap out a reply, another message comes through.
Lina: I’m happy to be partnering with you.
Me: I think it will be fun. How do you feel about us getting together for a run soon?
Lina: That sounds good. We can take a look at our schedules.
My heart pounds in my chest. This could be a horrible idea.
Me: I’m free tomorrow evening.
I fire off, hoping she’s free too.
Lina: I fly out tomorrow morning for three days. Want to try when I get back?
Fuck. Okay, not a big deal.
Me: Okay.
Lina: Thursday?
Me: Thursday it is. I’ll text you.
Lina: Talk to you then.
