Page 61 of Beauty Beneath the Sorrow
I need to feel her now, or I’m going to blow my load on top of her stomach, and that would be embarrassing because I’m not a fucking teenager anymore. But this is how she makes me feel—a burning and heady desire to be with her, on her, andinher.
I slide my fingers out, and she sinks into the bed, her body slightly trembling. Then I stick them into my mouth and lick them clean. “Exactly how I remember.”
Lina moans in satisfaction, watching me enjoy what she’s giving me. Her fingertips graze the skin on my arms while she circles the tattoos on my shoulders. Underneath me, I feel a gentle movement of her legs spreading. I take that as an indication that shedoeswant this. The lightning and thunder have eased up a bit, and the dense silence in the room causes me to get hit with a bolt of regret. My face hardens, and my muscles are still.
“No, don’t change your mind,” Lina begs, shaking her head. How can I tell her no when I want this as much as she does? Maybe it will work. Perhaps we can hook up every once in a while to temper our intense needs.
I lower my mouth to hers, sweeping my tongue across her lips. “I’m not.”
Lina lifts her head, meeting my lips for a deep kiss. This is the second time I’ve kissed her, and it’s better than the first. I don’t know how that’s even possible. Our tongues move slowly, licking and intertwining with one another while I hook one of my arms behind the back of her knee, bringing it up and pressing it into her chest. My mouth entirely devours hers softly. But with a purpose. Then, with one gentle yet firm thrust, I push into her.
A tight murmur slips out between our connected lips.
“Fuck. I don’t have a condom,” I grit out, getting lost in the way her body sucks me in and barely lets me move.
Lina’s nails dig into my ass as she desperately tries to hold me in each time I slide out. “I trust you,” she whispers. “Do you trust me?”
Do I trust her?Yes, I do.
“Yes,” I say, moving away from her lips, letting my forehead rest against hers.
Our bodies move in rhythm with one another. It’s not frantic or chaotic. It’s deep and sensual. Gliding my hand under her raised ass, I fan my fingers across her skin, getting a good grip, then guide her hips to match mine. Her arousal coats me, making the inside of her thighs and my dick wet and slippery. The slapping of flesh fills the room in the most intoxicating way.
“Goddamn, Carter.” Lina shakes. The lower half of her body is stiffening, and I feel her insides clench around me tighter. She’s about to come, and I cannot fucking wait to experience it.
Letting her leg fall from the position at her chest, I lower myself on top of her. Bracing myself on bent arms on either side of her, I cup her head and hold her body in place. “Eyes on me, baby.”
Lina’s eyebrows pinch together just before I bring my lips to her forehead. I breathe in her scent, appreciating the intimate moment we’re having.
She nuzzles my nose while I continue to roll deeper inside. Her eyes are locked on mine, and with each arch of my hips, I get closer to letting go of myself. Now she’s trembling underneath me and lets out a soft whimper before tucking herself into my chest and breaking my eye contact for a moment before she looksback up.
There she is.Sweat mists her forehead, and suddenly, I feel it coming—a euphoric and fierce orgasm. My legs lock into place. Lina grabs the side of my face, bringing my mouth to hers once again before letting out a heavy groan as her pussy tightens around my cock.
“Oh fuck,” I grunt, painfully pulling out to finish on my boxers, lying off to the side of the bed.
From the corner of my eye, I see Lina on her back, her lungs rapidly moving up and down as she sucks in gulps of air. Out of breath, I fall to my back on the bed, lying beside her.What the hell did we just do?
Chapter Eighteen
Lina
Ilean over the side of the counter with the hotel towel tucked under my armpits. I have a smile on my face, and my stomach feels like I just got off a roller coaster. As soon as I felt Carter’s soft, moist lips on mine, I knew it was all over. It wasn’t a matter ofifI’d give myself to him—it was a matter ofwhen. Maybe it was how he cared for me when I was sick, or perhaps how he looks at me when I speak? Maybe it was simply unexplainable?
When Carter dropped me off at my room last night, I had no plans to leave. But as the flashbacks rolled in with each vibration of thunder pounding outside the hotel window, fear took over. I panicked, and at that moment, my brain only knew of one place that was safe—with him.
My flashbacks don’t always come with storms, but specific ones they do. I’ve learned how different every storm can be. Each one is unique to every climate they hit. A single cell can change its characteristics from one minute to the next. Last night was eerily similar to the one hit that night in high school. The one that comes with a flurry of emotions and regrets.
Once the lightning and thunder fall into a familiar cadence, the hair on my arms stands up, and the nauseating feelingof helplessness pangs my gut. I’m transported back into that upstairs bedroom in an unknown house while my friends laughed, danced, and played beer pong underneath me. I’d had a lot to drink that night, and so did they. I used that as an excuse for years, but I know better.
A light knock at the door startles me. I drop my contact into the sink. With only one in, I stare out of the peephole.
Carter.
I spin around, my back flush with the door. I slipped out this morning before he woke up, but not before memorizing the sharp lines of his face. His longer-on-top dark hair lay messy on his head, while the perfectly crafted ridges of his bare chest rose and fell with each breath. My heart ached with feelings, and my thoughts reeled with how our relationship would change. I panicked and left.
I’m sure he’s here to make sure I understand that there can’t ever be a relationship with us—something that doesn’t need to be said. As my mind spirals with why he’s here and what he’s thinking, I get a flash of anger. Not knowing if he assumes I’d want more or not, I feel tense at the notion hewouldn’twant me.
I suck in a heavy breath and swing open the door. “I’m not some frantic romantic. You don’t have to make this awkward. It is what it is!” I blurt out before he has a chance to speak.
