Page 79 of Beauty Beneath the Sorrow
“Is everything alright?” I ask, unsure about the sudden change in his demeanor.
“Are you seeing anyone, Lina?” he asks. His question catches me off guard.
I shake my head. “No.”
“I saw a guy drop you off a couple of houses down from here,” he says with a concerned tone.
Is he jealous?And why do I like it so much?
“I was out with the girls. Piper is in town, soBailey, Avery, and I met her for brunch this morning.” My hands cup the warm stubble on his face and smile. “That was the Uber driver.”
Relief washes off his face like a lifeline. “Okay.”
“Carter Hernandez, were you jealous?” I joke.
But his expression remains somber. “When was the last time you were with someone else?”
Do I want to have this conversation?If I answer this one and his follow-up has anything to do with body count, then I’m out. He’s a 6’3” toned fighter pilot with mysteriously dark features that any woman would die to experience. And it makes me sick to think of how many have had the experience of being with him—because I know how well Carter rocked their fucking world.
My body count is high, but no one has even come close to fucking me the way he does. Carter’s a slow sensual lover who takes his time, but he can also be a ravenous animal who fucks like I’m essential for his survival. The last thing I want to do is imagine another woman getting that. It pisses me off to my core.
“Let’s go inside,” I suggest to him, then turn to unlock the front door.
After dropping my keys in the bowl and kicking off my shoes, I plop myself down on the couch, hoping Carter will follow. He does but sits toward the other side of the sofa.
“When was the last time you were with someone?” he continues our conversation by repeating his question. “I think this is something we should talk about since we’re sleeping together.”
I’ve thought about him possibly sleeping with other women while we’ve been hooking up, so I’m a little relieved hebrought it up. But I'm also nervous because a conversation like this just adds another layer to our already convoluted situation.
I sigh, nervous to have this discussion with him. “I don’t know. A few months ago?”
He arches forward, resting his elbows on bent knees. “A few, as in two or three?”
I can only hide my sarcasm for so long. It’s how I’ve learned to cope with facing things that make me feel uncomfortable. “What about you? How long has it been?”
“A year,” he states in a firm and even voice.
A year?I was not expecting that answer.Why?I see how other flight attendants and even passengers drool over him, so I’m confident it has nothing to do with a lack of options.
“A year?” My forehead pinches together as I whisper his words back to him.
A million thoughts cycle in my mind. Why has it been that long? And why am I relieved at that length of time? Now, what’s he going to think about me? I definitely don’t want a repeat of what happened in New York when Finn texted me. But maybe these are all leading to the fact that Carter may have feelings for me.Oh fuck.I can barely handle my own. Now, I may have to try to bury mine, knowing he feels the same.
“Yes.”
I pull my mouth to the side. “Can I ask why?”
“I’m not willing to sleep with anyone. I’ve done that, and it hasn’t been something I’ve wanted for a long time.” He glances toward me with soft eyes, but my insecurities are about to take the best of me again.
“Are you hinting at something?” I ask, automaticallybecoming insecure with the choices I’ve made.
“Not at all.” He casually slips off his hoodie from over his head.
“It’s been long before you and I slept together.” Bringing my hands to my face, I exhale a heavy breath. “I don’t want to talk about this. We aren’t even dating, and it shouldn’t matter.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shrug. “We’re just fucking for fun, right?”
