Page 125 of A Midnight Romance
She is one woman by day, another by night.
Lux flips her back to Andrew, her shoulders squared with confidence. “Let’s go, River,” she beckons me, and I’m right on her heels.
When we reach the top, protective instincts kick in even though all perceived threats have been eliminated and I slip in front of her to grab her hand in mine to lead us through the obscure, grim building. Lux is silent until we get outside into the cool night air.
The crisp coastal breeze dances across my skin with a subtle sting, and with a desperate breath in, I fill my lungs with rejuvenation. A dense silence settles around us in the heavily wooded area. I turn to Lux, a fire in my soul and relief flowing in my veins. With a grateful smile, I twist her arm in my arms and she moves with me positioning her front against my front.
“It’s almost midnight.” Although she smiles, she’s hiding additional trauma that will need to be unpacked in the hours, or days, to come.
“Yes.”
“Thank you for saving me,” she whispers into my thin, cotton shirt.
She never should have been taken to begin with.
Keeping my tight hold steady, I lock my arms in place imagining the sheer agony I’d experience if I was to lose her again. “I told you I’d always keep you safe.” A low rumble of thunder vibrates through the forest from miles away. “I’m sorry Andrew got to you.”
“It’s not your fault.” Lux’s head shakes.
I gently pull her away, bringing my index finger and thumb to her chin tilting her head skyward. “It is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I saw a man who’s been on the team’s radar for a while and I went after him,” I tell her, ashamed at my admission.
“And what does this have to do with Andrew taking me?”
I swallow a cotton sensation in my throat and my thumb across the slickness of her chin searching for the proper words to explain my darkness in a way she’d understand. “I left you at the police station and went after him. I failed you.”
Lux’s eyes flick to mine, laced with a strong conviction. “It’s not your fault.”
“I put my own impulses before your safety,” I say painfully.
“You were doing what you thought was right,” Lux retorts, defending my actions.
Lux knows I’m what most might call a vigilante, but what she’ll never know is my darkness craves the kill. And every day, I have to choose to use the darkness for good instead of bad. But I love this woman and I can’t let my urges get in the way. My life is not about myself anymore, it’s about her. And I’ve caught glimpses of a similar darkness in her, but she’s different. She was driven by rage, revenge. I am, but not in how I getmy fill. The more I kill, the greater the hunger to do it again grows—it’s a never ending perpetual cycle.
“That doesn’t matter if it means you get hurt,” I say.
“Then what is all this about then?” she rushes out. “I know you don’t do this simply because you want to bring justice to people, River.”
“Lux,” I say to her in shock.
Has she always known this?
Her eyebrows knit together as her voice lowers. “There has to be a level of pleasure you get out of it.”
“You think I take pleasure in it?” My heart pounds inside my chest, replaying her words.
Lux’s hand comes up to cup the side of my face. “Yes. Why else would you do it?”
“Fuck, it’s getting cold out here,” Sebastian shouts, jumping from the top step of the wooden deck. “It’s supposed to be summer.”
My head snaps over at the interruption, and I see the team laughing amongst themselves while jogging out of the house.
“This baby is gonna blow!” Hayden excitedly yells.
Lux has seen the darkness in me, obviously with what we’ve been through together, but I need to say the words to her. She needs to fully understand this is not only about justice, it’s about me too. We’ll talk again once we’re back at the manor.
