Page 79 of The Beachgoers
“Yeah.” Shane sips from his beer can. “Since we were kids. We used to play in the marsh with that little red sailboat.”
“That’s sweet, Shane.”
“Neil was the only one here who kept in touch, once things went south with my brother. I’d hear from Neil on and off. But after a few years went by with no word? I just figured life happened, and we’d gone our separate ways. Jesus, not that he’ddied. Sad to say, I didn’t really give it another thought back then.”
Celia reaches over to squeeze his hand.
“Thing is? We actually hung out a week before Barlows’ accident. And I never even knew, for all these years, that Neil died justdayslater. Not until Elsa told me a few weeks ago. He’s been on my mind ever since.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea you were that close with Neil.”
“I was. We were pretty tight. When he came up to Maine that last time? It was because he was conflicted about seeing Lauren. And about devastating Kyle at the same time.” Shane looks at Celia beside him. “Did you know about Lauren and Neil?”
She gives a sad smile. “No secrets at Stony Point, Shane. And Lauren’s one of my best friends here. So yeah, I know.”
“Ah, okay,” Shane says with a slow nod. “Well, Neil?” he goes on. “He wanted to spend time on the lobster boat. Shake off his doubts, do some thinking out at sea.”
“Did it work?”
“No. He never had a chance.” Shane pauses. “I wouldn’t let him on the boat.”
“Why not?”
Shane tips up his beer for a long swallow. “The boys on deck? They all know that if you’ve got a woman in your head, you’ll sink the boat.”
“Seriously?”
“It’s true. She’ll distract you. You’ll worry, and not pay attention to things on the boat. Uncoiling rope. Swinging traps. Rough seas. Which makes a woman in your headverydangerous. One wrong move, one trip-up hauling traps? It can kill youorsomeone else. Send a shipmate overboard.” Shane leans on that half-wall next to Celia, then hoists himself on it beside her. “The thing is? If Ididlet Neil come along, it might’ve saved his life.”
“Oh, Shane.” Celia straightens his sweatshirt’s twisted hood. “Don’t.”
“No, no because listen. Icould’vemade arrangements for him to stay onboard a month, maybe. Or for Neil to be a deckhand the rest of the summer season. Captain would’ve agreed. And Neil maybe would’ve let Lauren go. Instead…shit. I sent him on his way. To the gallows, feels like. Because the accident happened. And Kyle and Lauren’s lives were derailed. Jason’s, too.”
Celia gently leans into him. “Life, life,” she whispers.
“Yep. It’s a bitch, sometimes.”
Celia nods.
“And watching that ceremony tonight?” he says. “It just hit me. Because you could seeeverythingthey’ve been through. My brother, Lauren, Jason. What if I could’ve changed all that?”
They quiet on the porch. Waves lap at the beach beyond the yard. A sea breeze rustles the dune grasses. There’s just the summer night, dark all around them. Crickets chirp. Few lights are still on in surrounding cottages.
When Celia’s hand strokes Shane’s arm, he looks at her beside him. She sits there in his button-down shirt. Her auburn hair is wavy in the sea damp. A gold chain glimmers on her neck. He sees that in the low light of the porch lanterns. Shane glances behind her at Long Island Sound then. The water is as black as the night.
“You okay?” she asks.
“Well,” he says, blowing out a breath. “I guess now’s a good time to say what I wanted to tell you earlier, in the kitchen. It’s really important to me.”
“I’m listening, Shane.”
“Okay, Celia. Here goes. I’ve lost a lot of people in my life—you know that. My parents. My brother for a long, long time. Neil.” They still sit side by side on the half-wall. But he looks at her directly now. “And Idon’twant to lose you, too.”
