Page 149 of On Merit Alone
I watched the curve of his mouth as I recognized it as genuine. It did strange things to my heart. It made me want to kiss him. I laid my hand on his knee instead. “I love that you talk like you met him. Knew him. It’s nice, because nobody I know in this lifetime did. Just me.”
“I like to think that if things were different I would know him. And that I get to know him through conversations like this with you.” The way he laid his cheek on the top of my head was almostlike a hug. “Thank you for sharing them with me. I know your family is sacred to you.”
I breathed out a laugh but there was no humor. Just irony. “And you. I knew you loved your family before. Seeing you with them is a whole other story though. They’re your world. Thank you for allowing me into your world, I.”
He lifted and as I felt him looking down at me, my head lifted too. His eyes were soft but his expression almost strained, voice gravelly as he said, “Yeah well, I think worlds can shift. Expand. Tilt on their access.”
“Sometimes,” I agreed, my heart pulling at his words.
He nodded, looking back at the dwindling sparklers, “I’m beginning to think I know what it feels like.”
“How does it feel?”
His head stayed forward, but I caught him peeking at me from the corner of his eye. “It feels like being with you.”
Warmth like I’d never felt it before spread throughout my body. More than when he first kissed me, or when I first got the overwhelming urge to kiss him too. More than when he made me mad on the court or when he made me weak in his hands when we fooled around. More than ever, because it was coming from the inside out. Like Ira had found the deepest light within me, broken and burnt out, and found a way to get it going again. My chest was almost in pain by the way it ached for him right now. My throat was closing and tears pricked the backs of my eyes in betraying sensation.
“You’re not fair, King,” I whispered. “You’re not supposed to make me cry in front of your family.
A soft smile tugged his mouth as he looked at me. “I’m not supposed to make you cry at all, sweetheart. But if it means you might understand me a little bit, then I’ll take it.”
“I.” I took a shaky breath. “I don’t want to look like a brat.”
He gave a soft snort even as he reached a hand over and rubbedunder my eyes. “You could never give off brat, Merit. And you’re dry. Your imaginary tears can stay between you and me.”
Wanting to lighten the mood, I bumped my shoulder into his. “Isaw your baby pictures.”
He raised an eyebrow at the same time his mouth lifted. “Yeah?”
I dipped my chin, lowering my voice as I leaned in. “You were so chunky.”
This time he tipped his head back in a laugh. As if my own smile was tethered to that laugh, I couldn’t help but grin. I bumped his shoulder again. “I also saw your old team photos. Write ups, trophies, the whole nine. You were a regular superstar, even then. No wonder this city worships you.”
He raised a shoulder, his pleasant smile remaining. “What can I say?”
I recognized those cocky words as something he would say, but I knew him now. There was a time when I would think him arrogant (which he sometimes could be) but now I knew it was a rehearsed answer. Something that often worked in the face of what people expected him to be. I knew what he really was, though. Which is why I was comfortable enough to point out, “I didn’t know you played as number one before professional. When did you change?”
“College.”
“You didn’t want to change it back after being drafted?”
“Nah.” He sighed, but it was a wistful sound. “My brother and my sister both wore the number one. I'm not the only one who wanted to be like Iris.”
I felt happiness bubble inside my chest. “So you all wore the number one growing up? That is so cute! Where are those pictures? I know there must be some.”
“Framed somewhere, I'm sure,” he huffed.
“So eleven because…”
“To carry my two idols on my back,” he explained. “Don’t tell my brother, though. He has no idea I used to look up to him too.Anyway, I was away from home for a day and missed it. They told me I had to change my number, and those two idiots wouldn’t leave my mind. I played my first season as an adult with them on my back. When I got drafted I could have changed back, but I had already grown attached to the idea. When I missed them and when they couldn’t be there in physical form, they were there with me in other ways.”
I blinked, not expecting so much. Not expecting to feel so seen in his own journey. “You could have told me that when I told you about my parents’ numbers.”
He bumped my shoulder. “Wasn’t my time to talk.”
“But you’re—” I swallowed, realizing just now that my throat had gone dry. “You’re like me.”
“Ah, Six.” His strong hand touched my cheek again, wiping under my eyes and actually coming away wet this time. “We were always alike. That’s why we work so good.”
