Page 154 of On Merit Alone
“It’s my stadium.”
I shook my head. “No. It’s his.”
He must finally have realized he was on thin ice here because, with a huff and a grumble, he said a curt “Goodnight” before turning and walking out.
I didn’t go to Ira right away. I wanted to. I wanted him to take away this sudden whir of feeling that had taken over my entire body ever since Rob finally admitted that he wanted me gone, win or lose, but my legs refused to move.
Years of work. Years of building the blocks of a good team, the blocks of alifesomewhere. And just when I was finally finding something else to look forward to,someone else, it was being taken away.
I felt sick. I let myself feel sick, if only for a few minutes. I did it there because I didn’t want to do it in front of Ira. I’d fallen apart in front of him countless times, and he’d wasted no time in picking me back up. But I suspected if he was unsettled enough to break his charming, laid-back exterior in front of a near stranger, he was theone who could use some holding together right that second. And with all he’d done for me, I could do that for him.
I just needed a minute. A minute to wrap my head around my sudden reality.
I sank to the cool floor of the concrete tunnel, my hands going up to cover the back of my head. I forced myself to breathe deeply, hoping to smooth out any hitches.
All this time, Ira was trying to get me to see that life was more than just basketball. It must have gotten through to me at some point because, as I curled into myself, feeling the world caving in on me, it wasn’t basketball I was dreading losing—it was everything else.
It was him.
It took ten minutes, but finally I was sliding into the open door of the men’s locker room in search of my guy.
I didn’t have to search long. Almost as soon as I stepped foot inside the door, he was on me. My face in his hands, my lips under his. I latched onto his wrists as he bracketed my cheeks, moaning slightly into his rough kiss. He pushed forward, and my back pressed against the wall, my mouth opening slightly and his tongue diving right in.
The way he kissed me wasn’t slow, sweet, or soft. It was frantic and needy and almost punishing. He took me and consumed me. If I didn’t know him well, I would think he was being possessive. He sure had that streak in him, but he wasn’t. His hands shook slightly, his breath racking, and I knew. I just knew that his heart wasn’t okay.
Pulling away just enough that there was space to breathe under him, I whispered, “I’m sorry.”
His breath hitched and I knew I hit the right nerve. Giving himanother softer kiss, I rubbed soothing circles into his wrists with my thumbs. I pressed my forehead into his. I gave him all the comfort I possessed in my body as I whispered again, “I’m sorry, Ira.”
“You didn’t tell me he was like that,” he said.
“He’s never been that bad,” I said truthfully, but immediately dismissed that conversation. “And that’s not important, Ira. You’reshaking.”
“I’m pissed, Six,” he said through his teeth. With a ragged suck of air, he tried to breathe. It was shaken at best. “And I’m terrified.”
“Of what?” I asked, wishing he would just let me wrap my arms around him. Let me comfort him. But he wouldn’t. Trying to move his hands away from my face was like trying to pry entangled steel apart.
“Of losing you,” he shuttered.
“What?”
“He doesn’t like you. He wants you gone,” he said. “And if he gets what he wants,Ilose everything I want.”
I tried to say the right thing, but my breath halted on the words. Different ones rushed up to the surface to replace them. “You don’t want me to leave? Even if it was better for my career?”
This had always been a possibility. Tough year or not, there had been other teams trying to recruit me from Denver since my very first season. I stayed because I’d always wanted a home base, somewhere I could call mine. Even though we weren’t the best in the league and I wasn’t even getting paid the most I probably could be, I stayed. Ira must have known this too. He wasn’t dumb, and he’d been in this industry long enough to know the writing on the wall.
His laugh was bitter, not an ounce of humor in it. “I don’t think you should do any of your tests on me right now, Mer. I won't pass.”
“It’s not a test,” I said softly.
“I want you anywhere I am, Merit,” he downright growled. “I barely want to drop you off at home when I have to. I sure as helldon’t want you away from me in another city. And I’m sorry if that’s the exact wrong thing to say right now. I’m just shocked by the way he talked to you. How you let him talk to you. If that goes on much longer, he’s going to take you from me, andI didn’t know it was like that?—”
“Okay, shh,” I said. I stopped trying to pull him away and instead closed my eyes as I melted into him.
Probably the opposite of what I should be feeling at the moment, my heart bloomed. The entire thing felt as if it was opening and surrounding Ira as I pulled him into my body,my soul, and made him mine.
Raising to my toes, I kissed him again and again until his breathing steadied. I rubbed his arms. “Shh, I. It’s alright.”
