Page 85 of On Merit Alone
I hated the way people were looking at her. I hated the way she looked at herself; like her hands were a mirror, and she hated the reflection she was staring at. I had to do something. I had to try.
Quietly, I asked, “What about your grandpa, Mer?”
I’m sure she wasn’t breathing as she looked up at me. Stared up at me. Her eyes said something unreadable. No, actually they read one emotion loud and clear.
Turmoil.
Fuck. That question was a mistake.
“Alrighty well, it’s been awesome getting to know the two of you today. Two stars with the same drive and very different styles on and off the courts,” Tonya cut in quickly, running through her outro. “Ira, I have to say all your answers are going to surprise even your biggest fans. And Merit, I think we can all agree that your dedication to the game is unmatched. I’ll see you both back here for your individual interviews soon. Thank you for speaking with us!”
As soon as Tonya did her little head nod to cue her cameras to stop, I turned to Merit. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m fine,” she said immediately. Rising, she moved to leave the interview set-up but stumbled slightly on her feet. I caught her by both elbows and walked her out, not letting go in fear of her falling.
There was definitely something very wrong. With her answers, with the way she looked while saying them, with the entire way she was acting right now. And I know we were technically fighting or whatever this was, but I couldn’t leave her alone like this. It was almost like she was in a different world. I knew as much as she let me lead her out of the curtained interview area to a couple of seats on the far side of the stadium.
As we sat, I initially tried to talk to her. Telling her that they were just questions. That it was okay to open up a little for the sake of the interview, and that there was no need to be nervous. She wasn’t hearing any of it. I’m not really sure she heard much of anything. So I just resigned myself to sitting with her. And when it came time for her individual interview, her and I being the last two on the docket, I walked her up to the curtain afraid that she might topple over if I didn’t.
Before she could pull the curtain aside to go in, I stopped her. Her eyes were latching onto nothing in particular, just staring dazedly at some point on my shoulder.
My heart sank.
She wasn’t okay and I had no idea why. I had no idea what to do.
Using a firm grip on her chin, I tilted her head up to me, begging for her gaze. She provided it in the shattered form she currently possessed. I breathed. “Mer if you don’t want to do the interview, don’t do it. It’s not a big deal if you skip.”
“It is, Ira,” she said. “Rob wants me here. If I piss him off againhe said he’s going to suspend me, or more. I can’t lose this. I can’t… I just can’t.”
Tabling the array of shocking words for later when I got her to a place she felt safe again, I stepped into her space. “So you’re saying you don’t want to do it?”
She whimpered, but that’s the only noise she made as she shook her head.
“Then let me get you out of here, sweetheart,” I said, laying my hand on her shoulder to steer her away.
She shook me off. “No, Ira. No. I’m on contract and I don’t break those. I’m sure the hard part’s already over. I’m going to be fine.”
“But Mer?—”
“Merit!” someone called. “We’re ready for you!”
She sighed and shook me the rest of the way off. “I gotta get in there. See you around.”
Yeah, see me around my ass. She would see me right here in the open curtain entry as I watched with my arms folded while she took her place in the interview seat. She was taking deep breaths, her hands balled up tight in her lap again trying to compose herself.
Impulsively, I pulled out my phone and sent a text to the only person I knew who might be able to help me here. Sending off a quick message that I hoped read:Are you around?Like I intend it to.
I didn’t have time to see if he replied, because Tonya was starting again.
“So Merit, it’s been so good getting to speak with you so far. Honestly catching you off the court is always a treat since we don’t see very much of you in interviews or specials like these,” Tonya started. “Can I ask why?”
Merit shrugged. “I’m not too great with interviews, is all. I usually have the same answer as you could probably tell.”
“You’re a pretty great interviewer, actually!” Tonya complimented. “Your courtside talks are some of our favorites.”
“Oh, well. I can talk about basketball easy. Just not myself,” Mer confessed.
“And judging by your last interview with Ira, we can tell basketball means a great deal to you. Almost, everything it seems.”
