Page 75 of Attractive Forces
Instead of taking his own seat, Coach shuffles around so he’s leaning against the back of his chair, sifting through some papers on his desk, not meeting my gaze.
My stomach does a deep dive. I’ve never seen him look uncomfortable before.
He finally looks up at me. “Logan, you’re someone with a lot of friends,” he begins.
“Um…yes, sir.”
He scratches at his hand. “When you get to be a long-toothed old guy like me, you realize that some friendships are healthier than others.”
My pulse starts to race even more than when we were doing suicide sprints. Oh, holy shit.
“I’m not sure what you mean, Coach,” I say.
He clears his throat, still not meeting my gaze. “How well do you know Jake Stenton?”
Fuck. Fuck.
I try for a nonchalant shrug, but I can feel the stiffness in my shoulders, the tension radiating down my back. “Pretty well. He’s the guy Mr. Luddick got to be my chemistry tutor. We hang out a bit.”
“Chemistry, huh?” Coach finally looks at me, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I’m thinking your chemistry grades are probably good enough you don’t need a tutor anymore. At least not until the championship is over.”
My mouth goes dry.
Before I have a chance to say anything, he stands and approaches me, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “It’s a weird world we live in, son. Folks ‘round here are still conservative about some stuff. Hopefully, that’ll change one day, but in the meantime, if we want to succeed, we’ve got to live by their rules.”
“Yes, sir.” My lips, my whole face, feels numb.
“Now, you go hit the showers. Good practice today.”
I head back to the locker room in a daze. It’s cleared out in the time I’ve been talking to Coach, so only Brewer remains. He’s slowly tying his sneakers.
I know he’s waiting for me.
A rage I didn’t realize I was capable of feeling overtakes my body. Within a second, I’m up in his face, grabbing the front of his sweater, hauling him to his feet.
“What the fuck did you say to Coach?”
His eyes bulge, and he shoves me back. “Get off me!”
I let go of him, breathing hard, but continue glaring at my oldest friend in the world. “What? You worried you’re going to catch the gay?”
Brewer flinches at my words, and it hits me like a punch to my guts. Because there it is. The word is finally out there. I’m gay. I’m gay, and Brewer knows it.
“Fuck you, Logan, don’t turn me into the asshole in this situation,” he snarls.
“You’re looking like the asshole from where I’m standing.”
His nostrils flare. “It’s not just about you, Logan. Do you get that? When it comes out, what do you think is going to happen to the team? You think everything is still going to be the same when they discover your extracurricular activities? We’re two games away from winning the championship! You’re just thinking with your dick. You’re not thinking about the team.”
“You’re talking bullshit,” I say, but my voice lacks conviction.
“Some of us don’t have fancy plans to go to university. Some of us are trying to get the attention of a professional franchise. We need the exposure that winning the final will bring. You ever think about that?” His face is red and his eyes are hard as he glares at me. “I actually don’t give a shit about who you screw. You can fuck penguins for all I care. Just wait until the championship is over.”
23
Jake
“Where are you off to?” Mum asks me as I charge down the stairs.
