Page 120 of The Other Brother
“Did she now?” Derision is threaded through Frank’s voice. I tense.
“She’s using your aunt’s crib, so she can use my family christening gown,” Mum says.
“Because you’ve pressured her into it.”
Hot anger surges up inside me. Suddenly, I’m furious at Cody. I’m furious at Frank, at Mum, at this whole shitty situation.
“Can’t you two just stop?” My voice is deathly low, so low it doesn’t sound like me.
Mum swivels her head to me, narrowing her eyes. “Stop what?”
Retreat. Retreat.A lifetime of experience has taught me that when I’m on the receiving end of that look, backing down is the only safe option. But my anger overrides any alarm system right now.
“Just stop your usual crap and see the bigger picture. You’re grandparents now. Ethan doesn’t deserve to go through the same shit you’ve put Kate and Mel through.”
There’s a stunned silence.
“Ryan’s right.” Cody rubs his forehead, not looking at me.
“Ryan doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Frank says.
“No,” Cody says, his tone sharp. His hand drops away from his face, and he glares at his father. “Don’t speak to Ryan like that. Don’t you dare.”
My breath slams out of me as Cody continues. “You know Ryan’s right. You both know it. You use Mel and Kate as weapons against each other. Do you have any idea what it does to them? What it does to all of us?” His voice cracks at the end.
There’s a shocked silence when he finishes.
“I don’t think that’s fair,” Frank says finally.
“It’s totally fair.” Mel leans back in her chair, crossing her arms. “We’re always having to walk such a fine line between you two, trying to make both parents happy. It’s shitty and exhausting, to be honest.”
“Don’t swear,” Frank says.
“She’s just expressing herself,” Mum says.
“She can express herself without being vulgar,” Frank retorts.
“For God’s Sake, Just Stop!” Cody roars so loudly that I flinch. “Can you hear yourselves? You can’t stop sniping even now.”
“We’ll talk about this later,” Frank whispers tersely as Judy comes back into the room, followed by Chris’s parents. Their wide eyes and fixed smiles show that they’ve at least heard some raised voices.
Everyone plasters on their polite smile. My mouth feels like the corners have been tugged up by a puppeteer, and I try to concentrate on Judy’s words. But it’s difficult to hear much over the thrumming of my heart in my ears.
“So, as I was saying to Kate’s family, there are a few changes to the usual christening procedures that I wanted to talk through…” Judy’s professional tone is like a soothing balm on the room.
My heart is still racing as we head back into the church. As we find our seats in the pew, I stare at Cody. I can’t help it.
He meets my eyes briefly then looks away, running a hand through his curls.
He stood up to his father for me. Does that mean anything? I’m an idiot if I start to hope, right?
I don’t actually think I can handle hope. Because the crush of the inevitable disappointment is more than I can bear.
There are two other babies getting christened first. Which is a good thing, as I get to see what the other godfathers do. I get the feeling that a legendary Ryan mistake, even if it’s on the amusing spectrum, will not be appreciated today. The other christenings also give me enough time to wrestle my heart back under control.
Which is fine, until I have to get up and go stand next to Cody.
Cody’s shoulders are stiff, his hands clenched. It’s like an invisible current runs from his body to the surface of my skin, and I’m covered in receptors. I have such a craving to touch him. Just to move my hand a few inches, brush up against his skin. I crave touching him more than I think I’ve ever craved any food or drink in my life.
