Page 135 of Playing for Keeps
I rummaged in my brain for something to say to move the conversation on from Ethan, but it appeared Char hadn’t finished with the topic.
“Did you know he was my friend first?” she said the words in an almost conversational tone.
I frowned. “What?”
“I was friends with Ethan before you.”
My frown deepened. I had no idea when I’d first met Ethan. The memory was lost somewhere in the haze of childhood.
“I don’t remember,” I said.
“It was in Ms. Grady’s class. There were a few weeks when I played with Ethan, just me and him.”
I blinked. I really didn’t remember that.
“And then he came home with me for the first time after school, and we were making forts and you decided to join in and somehow it went from the fort Ethan and I were making to Luke and Ethan’s pirate ship. And from then on it was the Luke and Ethan show and I was always a bit character you didn’t really need.” She wrapped her arms around herself.
Fuck. I’d known I’d been wrapped up in Ethan when I was a kid. I’d never thought about the cost of that. How it had affected Char.
Her eyes were large and dark as she looked at me now. “You know that salute you did after you scored the try in your first test match?”
My chest tightened. “Yeah? What about it?” I croaked.
“It was for Ethan, wasn’t it?”
I sucked in a harsh breath. “Yes,” I said finally. “Yes, it was for Ethan.”
The swing continued to creak in the silence that followed.
“I thought so,” Char said at last.
So much lay unspoken between us.
Had Char turned to pills again because she’d realized what was happening between Ethan and me? Did I want to know the answer to that question? Part of me really, really didn’t. Maybe I should be reassuring her that it was over, that Ethan and I were never going to do anything to cause her more hurt.
I turned to gauge her feelings, only to find she’d fixed me with a fierce stare. “I knew.”
My stomach recoiled. It looked as if I was getting the answer whether I wanted it or not. “Knew what?”
“I knew what he meant to you. I knew how you felt about him. Back then.”
My breath whooshed out of me. It wasn’t what I’d expected her to say.
She studied the ground, digging the toe of her foot into the compacted dirt. “It was when Dad took you to Australia on that boys’ trip for graduation. Remember that? Mum took me on a shopping trip as compensation and I don’t even like shopping! But you got to go to Australia. It was so typical.” She wiped at her eyes.
“Oh Char,” I said.
“I was out with Maddie and we ran into Ethan at the pub. And when I talked to him, he showed me a picture you’d sent him of Dad and you in front of the Opera House. And the way he was grinning as he talked about you made me realize he loved you back, even if he didn’t quite know it yet. And I realized you were going to have this amazing rugby career and this epic love story with your best friend and suddenly, I just wanted some of it too.”
Horror wrapped itself around my throat, choking me.
“So I bought him lots of drinks and then told him I was scared of staying by myself in the house with Mum away so he came home with me. And when we got home, I pretty much seduced him.”
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to imagine this scene. I’d spent six years trying to avoid imagining this, trying to avoid thinking about Ethan and Char together.
“And I didn’t mean to get pregnant, but when I found out I was, part of me thought it meant maybe he could be mine,” she whispered.
My eyes snapped open. “What the fuck, Char?”
