Page 48 of Keeping it Casual
Right…so that’s a yes? Because I don’t actually speak fluent chicken metaphors.
That’s disappointing to hear. Hopefully, that’s my only disappointment tonight because it is a yes. I’m having dinner with Lucy now, so I won’t be home for another hour.
No worries. I’ll wait for you.
“Who are you messaging?” Em asks.
I don’t want to lie to her.
“Dustin.”
She raises an eyebrow and waggles it. “Dustin, your boyfriend?”
I stuff my phone in my pocket. “He’s not my boyfriend. Not a proper boyfriend, anyway.”
Her grin fades, and her eyebrows pull together.
“Is it because of me?”
I swallow. Her simple question brings back a flood of guilt that I feel about Emily.
“No, it’s not because of you,” I say, looking away. I stare at the doorway to the kitchen where the pencil markingsmeasuring Lucy’s growth are. “Why would it be because of you?”
“You haven’t had a proper boyfriend since we separated,” she says.
“Yeah, well, the right guy hasn’t come along.”
“Are you sure about that?”
My throat clogs. I find I can’t actually answer her on that one. I keep my eyes fixed on the doorway.
“I will always love you, Jeremy. But I’ve fallen out of love with you. I just want you to know that.”
I snap my eyes to her.
She gnaws on her lip, her expression remorseful. “I’m sorry. I think I was so in love with you that I made you feel guilty after we split. And that’s made it hard for you to move on.”
“Em…” I say, my voice thick with emotion.
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and takes a deep breath. “For a long time, I didn’t understand how you could walk away from us when so much of our relationship was great. But I saw the way you were looking at Dustin at Lucy’s party. And you never ever looked at me like that.”
“Like what?” I’m not actually sure I want to know the answer.
“Like you want to devour him,” Emily says.
When in doubt, joke.
“It’s nice to know my secret cannibalistic tendencies were on display for everyone to see.”
She nudges my shoulder. “You know what I mean. You really like him, don’t you?”
Her words cause a flutter inside me. I heave out a sigh.
“It doesn’t matter how much I like him. He’s not interested in a relationship,” I say.
“Are you completely sure? Because at Lucy’s party, he definitely seemed to be acting likea boyfriend would.”
My heart lifts at her words.
