Page 154 of Reckless Hearts
But I promised him I wouldn’t contact him.
Seb is not active on social media, but I can’t help checking his profiles anyway, looking for any sign he’s okay.
Even scrolling through my own social media, seeing all the likes and comments on my posts, doesn’t provide any comfort.
All these people, they don’t know me. They don’t know who I actually am.
What the hell is a like worth if it’s for a fake version of me?
After three days, I break. I need to know Seb’s okay. But I refuse to break my promise to him.
So I call Saskia.
“Hey.” Saskia answers my video call. She looks nothing like her Instagram-perfect self—she’s wrapped in an oversized sweater, her makeup-free face making her look younger and more vulnerable than I’ve seen her in years.
The handful of conversations Saskia and I have had since she found out about Seb and me have mainly consisted of her ranting to me about Tom and what a dickhead he is. I’ve kept my part of the conversation light and fluffy and full of the Hollywood gossip I know she loves. I deliberately haven’t mentioned Seb or our relationship, and she hasn’t mentioned him either.
But today, I’m going to break that embargo.
“Hey,” I say.
Saskia straightens, her forehead furrowing.
“Are you okay?”
Seeing her immediately react to my expression makes me realize how much I’ve missed out on with Saskia all these years. We could have had a deeper friendship if I’d allowed myself to be vulnerable rather than the carefully curated version of myself I’ve always presented to the world.
But I’ve been determined to hide who I really am from everyone around me.
The only person I failed that with is Seb.
“No, I’m not okay,” I reply honestly to Saskia.
“Did something happen with Seb?”
“Yes.”
Saskia’s shoulders tense, her lips pressing into a thin line. “This is why you shouldn’t have fucked my little brother, Marcus. Because if you’ve broken up with him, if you’ve broken his heart, then I’m contractually obliged as a big sister to hate you.”
“He broke up with me,” I say.
I try to say the words as neutrally as possible, but even I can hear the raw pain in my voice.
Saskia’s eyebrows fly up, and she blinks rapidly.
“What? Seb broke up with you?”
“Yeah. He did.”
“What the fucking hell?
“I can’t be what he needs. I can’t be the guy he deserves.”
Saskia just gapes at me. She blinks a few times like she’s cycling through responses and finding none of them adequate.
I summon a shaky breath. “But I need you to make sure he’s okay, alright? Just go to his place, make sure he’s doing all right.”
Tears prickle my eyes. I wipe my hand across my face, smearing them.
